"An overseer must be…one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?" (I Timothy 3:2, 4-5)
This article is an excerpt taken from a teaching in a Pastor’s Conference conducted in Nairobi by Apostle Star Scott. Apostle Scott was ministering on the qualifications of a pastor—one who is in oversight.
The word "rule" in this verse of the scriptures is very interesting. It means: to preside over, to superintend, to stand before, to lead, to feed. "You mean I am not just pastor at church; I am also pastor of the home?" That is what the verse says. When the scripture speaks of ruling our homes well, it is talking very clearly about our pastoral responsibilities to the home first.
What the Apostle Paul is simply saying in this passage of Scripture is- if you cannot pastor your home, you cannot pastor the church. I am going to say it again in a different way. If you will not assume the pastoral care of your home, which is the first requirement, how can you say that God is calling you here or there, or to preach the gospel, or to run and do this or that? The requirement for going to preach is to pastor your home first. Do you want me to tell when you can go preach? You can go preach when you love your wife and lay your life down for her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).
We are speaking towards your role as overseer in your home because if you cannot rule your home, you have no business overseeing the church of Jesus Christ! Some of us may just let that comment go right by. I am telling you, God is not going to wink at it. He will never bless you when you reject Him, despise His Word, and lower His standards. The first requirement of an overseer, the man of God, is humility. Humility: God is right, not me. If you are keeping the standards at home, you are able then to oversee the church. "(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall take care of the church of God.)" I Timothy 3:5.
How dare we run around the streets of Nairobi or the countryside of Kenya preaching the Gospel when we have not taken time to sit with our own children, to love them, and to teach them the Word of God! Your children should hear you say from time to time when someone invites to preach for them, "No, I cannot preach, I am going to spend time with my son." Some may say-"You mean I am to put my son before the ministry?" Your son is the ministry, your daughter is the ministry, and your wife is the ministry! "But if I do not go preach, maybe souls will go to hell!" God will send someone else. He may send the person who spent time with his son last week! If you are too busy running around preaching, and you do not take time to properly oversee your home, then your home is out of order, and you do not qualify to lead God’s people or to oversee His house. When you bring proper, Biblical oversight to your home, then when you stand before Jesus, you will not have any blood on your hands (Acts 20:26).
Do you want to know one good way to do things? The way I used to do it was to take my children with me. I involved them in the ministry. You make them a part of what you are doing so that they do not resent the ministry; they are part of the ministry. Let them understand how important their lives are and then you will not end up like Eli, with children fornicating in the temple because you had no control over them. (I Samuel 2)
We must begin to see how awesome this responsibility is. If you cannot rule your home- if your wife is not submissive, if your children are not obedient, if you are not loving your family, then you have no business overseeing the church. If we rule our homes well, then we are fit to oversee the house of God.
"If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot (riotous living) or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God…" Titus 1:6-7
It is our responsibility to set a course, to be the example in the home and in the church (I Timothy 4:12b) May I ask you a question? How many of you are confident enough to turn to people in your congregation, to your wife and children, and say, "If you follow me, you will get to heaven. If you do what I do, you will get to heaven. If your heart is full of the same treasures as my heart, you are going to get to heaven?" That is what we need to do. Until we can say with confidence, "Follow me as I follow Christ," we are not properly representing our head, Jesus, (I Corinthians 11: 1). We need to examine our hearts and ask ourselves, "Am I really doing my job? Am I representing His lordship?"