Bible Teaching

The one thing we have to remember is that in every situation like this there's always two parties and it's never one's fault entirely. There's always a contributing in both parties when there's inability to bring about the best of the standards of God. So as we begin to look at these different areas, I didn't say that you would cause the other person to change. I'm talking about the ability to walk in this to the place of perpetual death, of perpetual submission to the will of God. And frankly we can't always do that and God understands that. I mean enough is enough. For some of us fifteen minutes are enough, for others it's fifteen years. But you finally say, "I can't take any more." The thing we have to understand is this-and this is hard for people to realize, as sacred as marriage is, and in this fellowship marriage is given that position of sacredness, and it's not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but soberly and discretely as the standard vows go that we don't really use-and that's how we view marriage because God, the Bible says, hates the putting away. And we hate it. I don't believe there's any place for it in our lives, other than the one provision God truly gives and that's for adultery both literal and spiritual. In literal adultery, God gives us that right to put away because of the death of that person. And in spiritual or heresy God gives us the right to put away. Other than that there are no other God-acceptable reasons for the putting away. He hates it. We hate it. It is unacceptable in the kingdom. It's unacceptable in our community. But it happens. Sometimes it happens because if it continues it can bring both parties to eternal damnation. And it's better to have your marriage cut off and enter into heaven maimed, then to go to hell. When you reach that kind of situation we have to ask some very serious questions then. If both of us are looking at that type of an approach to this relationship and both of us are wanting to do what God wants us to do but we're unable to function in our communion and our relationship together at this moment, how do we then relate to one another within the community or the body of Christ? It would be no different than any other besetting sin or trial we are going through. Each party needs an infusion of love, of prayer, of support that deal with the basic principles of relationship to the body but have nothing to do with the specifics of why the relationship was not able to stay intact because that begins to be gossip. It begins to cause strife and choices as to who's right and who's wrong, and poor you and poor them. They are both in need of prayer. They both need to be healed in their spirits. They both need to be reconciled back to the lordship of Jesus in a fuller way and a more functional way. And if they are, ultimately, hopefully it can bring healing and reconciliation. That's what God wants and nothing less.

So the standard is always perfection, but the grace and mercy of God provides for moving in this other area of our weaknesses and yet in our weaknesses God doesn't just say, "Okay. Well you're only human. You're frame is dust. You're going to blow it. You're going to sin. Yea, go for it." There're consequences to our sin. There're consequences to our inability to walk in the spirit and there're restrictions that are placed upon us, and we'll talk a little bit about those as we relate in the community. Hillel says, "Man, if she finds no favor, put her out of here." So a lot of people-if we took a vote today, I would say the majority of men would say, "Yea, that's the right interpretation of that passage." No question. The thing that's interesting in the Hebrew is that it's always in the masculine. It always is the man's authority to put the woman away and we only find one real scripture that shows the woman putting the man away. But it is a New Testament concept and it is applicable.

But as we're looking here you see some other very interesting things, I don't want to get off into the historical, cultural aspects of this, but things are in the Scripture rendering exactly opposite of our American culture. You notice the woman leaves with nothing. She doesn't leave with half. She doesn't leave with the children. She just leaves. That reinforces the authority of the husband's role in God's perspective. It's obvious why that's been perverted in our society. Now we know that under the wrong application it can be perverted in application but in principle it's pure. Sin will pervert it. Natural man will pervert it. But it's pure in its principle that the man represents the authority of God. The head of the woman the Scripture says is the man. The head of the man is Christ the Scripture says. So we see that chain of command and we're looking through the designated authority to the lordship of Jesus.

We understand that in the Scriptures and historically, prior to the Scriptures, women were really chattel. Women were just possessions of men. The Bible was in place long before the equal rights amendment to give women a fair shake. You see a lot of people seem to think that well, it seems like the Bible says that men are to be in these positions of dominance and women are to be tread upon. When you read the Scriptures very closely you'll see it's the exact opposite. The Scripture protects the slave. The Scripture protects the orphan. The Scripture protects the poor. The Scripture protects the woman. Socially and historically there were the dominance of all of these. The one thing you're going to find in all these Scripture (and as we set these basic principles that will help you with the specifics in just a moment) passages we're going to go over momentarily is this. They are all in place to protect these groups. The Scripture has set up different standards and procedures to protect the poor, to protect the innocent. If we'll do it according to the Word of God, those will receive their due protection and the structure of God and the integrity of that structure can stay in place. That's what's important.

So we see with Hillel, it says if he finds no favor in his eyes. It's a classic taking something out of context. Read one phrase and you can make it say anything you want. You read down a little bit further and of course it says if there be found any uncleanness in her. You see Hillel emphasized the no favor and Shammai emphasized the uncleanness. That word in the Hebrew means a matter of nakedness or indecent behavior, an unchaste attitude. It didn't mean that there had to be physical adultery or anything. But this is a woman who may be a flirt. This is a woman who may somehow be shaming her husband in public and acting shamelessly, out from under that oversight and that authority in these different areas. Shammai said if this is the type of behavior then this is a person who can be rightfully put away. One just gave total license the other again brought about these restrictions.

Look over at Deuteronomy 22 for just a second. In Deuteronomy 22 as you begin to read down through these passages, you begin to see some of the different laws that were set forth of the way people responded and treated one another. Let's start at verse 19 then we'll back track to verse 13 for just a second. But if you'll look at verse 19 it says, that there's a chastising that's taking place in verse 18. Then it says, "And they shall amerce him in a hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days." Now what is this that's taking place here? It's interesting that if you'll go back to verse 13 it says, "If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: then shall the father of the damsel, and the mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity..." You remember, this is what took place. Now thanks to tampons and different things we don't have that in our society. We do still have virgins, thank God, and most of our young ladies are, but you can't always prove it. Back in this particular time there was that ability to prove and they would bring the cloth from the marriage bed.

If any of you saw years ago the movie, Yentl, you'll remember that particular scene in the movie that was very interesting. You remember when Yentl was portraying herself as a man and they came to check the marriage bed following the wedding night and she had spilled the wine on the sheets to show that there had been the covenant that had been cut and the tokens were there.

We are seeing that for a false accusation that was being made here there was a consequence to that. You see the guy married this girl. Took her in. Didn't like her for whatever reason. Slanders her. Says she wasn't a maid and the parents come in and say, "Hey dude, look here's the tokens." He's been found out now for his slanderous statements and now the Scripture says that he has to pay a fine. One hundred shekels of silver for bringing a reproach on the family and he may not put her away all of his days. This dude is in for some trouble from here on, no question. In fact I'm sure that somewhere down the line he's going to be dealing with one of the Ten Commandments, maybe murder. What you're looking at here are some of the real things that happen. People get married on a whim. I've got to have that person. And then they just want to put them away and begin to somehow slander them. There's no place in the body of Christ for getting married quickly. And there's no place for separating quickly. We need to be wise and make sure of our course, because what God has joined together let no man put asunder. Can you say amen to that?

Here we are and we understand that that's a Scriptural requirement that is put upon us and yet the Scripture gives place. He says, "Don't do it but if you do, here's how you do it." Our frames are dust. But there's no excuse for justifying our actions or making light the commandments of God. It's interesting as you go on and look at this that, in verse 29 there's another comment, 28 and 29. It says, "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days." There's no indication here that this was a forced relationship. The Scripture speaks about that, a forced relationship. It talks about whether it's forced in the city or in the country. The Scripture speaks very clearly that if the woman comes and says, "Hey, you know this guy forced himself upon me." If it's in the city, what does the Scripture say? Why didn't you scream? We want some proof that this wasn't mutual consent and now you want to say that you were taken advantage of. But if it was out in the country and there's no way to prove this, then of course the provision of God is that you'll have to marry this person. You've had a relationship with them; you have to marry them. You had a relationship with them; you have to marry them. That's something foreign in our country, today, isn't it? You have a relationship with them and you don't even know their name. You can't remember the next morning who it was. As it was in the days of Noah so shall it be in the days of the coming of the son of man. They will marry and give in marriage. There was no regard. There was no sanctity. There was no restraint that was given in these appetites and we're living in that kind of society today. One of the only things that slowed it down was the AIDS virus and now they're trying to find ways around that. Not to heal people, but to give more place to their sin and their lasciviousness. It's interesting how God perceives these relationships and the value that He places on them.

Look over to Mark 10 for just a second since we're talking about these particular cases where these women are being taken and defamed or being used as property. I don't know that we'll get into it but it talks about the abusing of slaves and how you have to respond to those. These false accusations of infidelity, the rape or seduction aspects-in fact keep your finger right here and go to Exodus real quickly. Exodus 22 you can see one passage there that's fairly interesting along these lines. I have more of a tendency to believe that the Deuteronomy passage was a forced situation upon the young lady and therefore he couldn't put her away. The Exodus passage here is interesting when you look at Exodus 22 verse 16. "And if a man entice a maid [seduce her] that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins." So we see that he's not locked in like having taken this one by force. But through an enticing a seduction there's still a responsibility. Dad says, "No. There ain't no way I'm locking my daughter into this relationship with you even though she is a pin head getting involved with you in the first place." But again there's recompense that takes place. This is a neat chapter. You can read down through it. Other cool stuff that happens: doesn't let witches live, death sentence for bestiality and homosexuality, talks about how you lend money to one another. God is taking care of every area of our lives and how we relate to one another. All we have to do is know the heart and purpose of God and that He's looking for justice. He's looking for each one of us to be personally reconciled back to him.

We talked about the marriage relationship if you're back in Mark, and you begin to see that one thing is more sacred to God than marriage and that's redemption. God wants His people reconciled back to Himself. Your relationship with Jesus is more important than your relationship with your wife and your children, because you're to love Him more than you love wives and children, houses and lands the Scripture says very clearly. In Mark chapter 10 if you'll look over to verse 12, actually Jesus is speaking starting in verse 11. "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." This is one of the few phrases where you see a woman putting away. What do we see here in this passage though? What's God requiring in this? You can't marry again. Especially in a situation like we're faced with in this community. If you have two people, who are professing to be Christians, who are incapable of living together, who are having to cut off this member, whatever it is, to secure their own salvation. They're cutting it off. They're putting away. They're plucking out the eye. "I can't, I can't finish the course carrying this burden." Then there is provision for that but you have to remain unmarried. You have to stay single. There's no place for two people who are professing to still be believers to be able to marry again. There's no license for that, because you don't have an unbelieving party whose left and therefore you're free. You don't have a member who's been stoned and killed because of their heresy and their apostasy. And because of that death you're now free. You still have two people who are moving in repentance and who are seeking reconciliation to God and a healing process and because of that both are obligated to remain in this particular status. Reason? Because the mercy of the Lord endures forever. Because God's long suffering and of tender mercies. And though in the minds of men it's done, what's impossible with men is possible with God. Can you say amen to that? And that's what we hope for. We hope for healing and we hope for a reconciliation. But that's not why these things are being done. The reason for it is that each be right with God. That each one of them has their lives in proper relationship with Father and can finish this course. That's what He's trying to accomplish in each of these individual's lives and what we're looking for in the Word of God being applied and not people's emotions and not natural application of men's wisdom, but the wisdom of God. It doesn't make it easy on anybody; But we're not looking for easy, we're looking for right. We're looking for what brings glory to God.

Now a couple of things that are interesting as you go on in this particular subject. Back to Deuteronomy 22 now look what happens. If the tokens are shown, then fine, and he can't put her away. But if this thing is true, verse 20, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, "Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of the city shall stone her with stones that she die: [That might help things in our society today, don't you think?] because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." Young women have no business playing the whore in their father's house. And in our society today when things have changed and we're talking about equal rights and this new liberty that everybody has in their sexuality and all of these different areas, it's sin. There's no place for it. Don't even allow it to enter into your minds, that there's a place for any type of physical relations outside of the covenant of God. God has His standard and it's purity and it's holiness. And it's for two virgins, a male virgin and a female virgin, to come together and to cut a covenant and bring honor to God and anything else is whoredom, anything else God brings judgment upon. It's very important for us to understand and to make this clear to our children, when in a society today it's almost a mockery. People are laughed at because of their purity. But God delights in that pure offering we were talking about on Sunday.

"If a man be found [verse 22] lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die...If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto a husband, and a man find her in the city and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife...But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then that man only that lay with her shall die." So you go and you see then that God has put forth the integrity of one man for one woman. That's why you can't go to another woman and be brought back, or to another man and be brought back. What's to keep that purity so that there's no folly in Israel?

Now with all of that in mind and we see that there's the death sentence for a lack of chastity and for adultery, what about the doctrinal aspect of this? And this becomes a very important part because a lot of the times within our own situation here what we're running into here is that doctrinal infidelity. The Scripture speaks clearly to it. Turn to the book of Isaiah for just a second and we'll look and see what the prophet says. In Isaiah chapter 1 we'll look over at Jeremiah 3, you might as well grab both of them. Isaiah chapter 1 verse 21, "How is the faithful city become a harlot! it was full of judgment; righteousness lodged in it; but now murderers. Thy silver is become dross, thy wine mixed with water: Thy princes are rebellious, and companions of thieves: everyone loveth gifts, and followeth after rewards: they judge not the fatherless, neither doth the cause of the widow come unto them." Everybody living to themselves, their own vices, their own pleasures, and he says, "What's happened to the city of God? How has it become a harlot? This unfaithful people."

Jeremiah 3 then speaks toward this unfaithfulness and shows how God responds to this unfaithful people, Israel, that He had a covenant with. Now they're seeking other gods and they're living like the heathen of the lands that they'd gone to occupy. Jeremiah speaks and says in chapter 3, "...If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? Shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the Lord." What mercy God shows us in His desire to reconcile us unto Himself. Verse 14 says, "Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion." We see that there was a pollution that was taking place. And because of that verse 8 tells us that Israel was being unfaithful and committing adultery, God say in verse 8, "...I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce..." Very interesting. God, because of impurity of doctrine and impurity of heart and behavior, puts His people away from Him.

There's a reason for divorce in some situations. I'm not talking about a specific situation right now. I'm talking in general. There's a place to divorce when there's an infidelity to doctrine or to relationship. But you'll see the reason for it is to bring about a shame and a discipline, a brokenness and hopefully to be able to bring about, as you read in the chapter if we can emulate our Father, a reconciliation. So, God divorced Israel. Yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also (verse 8). Verse 10, "And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but [feigned a return]." You know we have people that got caught and man, I hate to lose out on my friends and relationship and they feign the return. There's not a godly sorrow. There's not a true brokenness. There's not a carefulness that's being shown. It's just a feigning. I'm just going to do enough to get through this pressure right now, so that I can get people off my back, but no heart change. God's aware of that. It never lasts. It never works. He said that was the heart of Judah, a treacherous people. "...The backsliding [verse 11] Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah." Trying to make alliances. Trying to remain in relationship but live according to their own lusts. He sent His prophet He says in verse 12 to declare this message. "...Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful..." You see if we're going to emulate, in this divorce, the heart of our God we always have to be saying return. "I can't stay with you the way it is but I want you to return. I want you to be right. I want God's name to be glorified. You're not the exception."

I talked with a man just the other day. He stopped in the parking lot. He came up and was saying that he was distraught and was wanting to go and see a psychiatrist and maybe to get an admission into a hospital. I told him to come and see us and he had actually, I think, been in one of our services. And as he got talking about his situation, I stopped him for just a moment and I said, "Let me just share one thing with you." He was talking about that he was bound to alcohol and some drugs, that he'd been involved in crime and a number of different areas. I listened to him for just a moment. I said, "Let me just share one thing with you. So what?! You're no different than a whole bunch of people that have gone before you. And those who wanted to be delivered are free today. And those that didn't really want to, the wages of sin is death." It's that simple isn't it? In our relationships, who hasn't been involved in bad situations of one kind or another?

So we look at these particular issues and what we have to say is this. Okay, if I'm in a situation to where there has to be a breach, the attitude has to be, "Return thou backsliding Israel," if we're going to emulate the heart of our Father. As you read on and you begin to see what's in the heart of Father, He's merciful. But there's a requirement, verse 13, "Only acknowledge thine iniquity..." You've got to change. You can't come back the same way. If we're going to be reconciled, things have got to change on both of our parts. We both have to start doing our job that the Word requires of us. If we were both doing our job, we'd be together. But the very obvious thing is, the conflict, each one unable to fulfill their role, bringing conflict, pain, strife, division, sedition, and all of these things that cause conflict and caused this breach.

In the given situation virtually of any relationship there's never one that stands like God, totally pure and puts away the other who is totally polluted. So there has to be the heart in both that has this kind of an attitude. For there to be a reconciliation there has to be a repentance. There has to be an acknowledging of the iniquity. It says that God has scattered them and this was for the purpose of bringing about judgment. You know you don't appreciate what you have a lot of times until you've lost it. Tragically that's human nature. We begin to take a lot of things for granted and the dispersing of these people. They were so glad to be called back into His presence. Don't ever take your spouse for granted. They may not be the best thing in the world, but are you? "Well, yea I am!" Ah, no, you're not. So you ought to be thankful for what you have and rejoice in God's goodness. You don't know what you have until you lose it.

I was dealing with another situation not too long ago and this person was just complaining about how hard things were. I thought, "You don't know how good you have it. If it were all gone, you'd be able to see." Verse 14 the third aspect of this, it says that after there's an acknowledging and repentance, turn, turn. Return unto me. Then a very interesting thing that He says, once you come back He said, "And I will give you pastors [verse 15]...[people that will] feed you..." People that will lead you and teach you and instruct you. You got messed up because you thought you could do it your way. Now why don't you start taking some advice? And why don't you start receiving some counsel? And why don't you start allowing the wisdom of God to be spoken into your life through the gifts of God so that you can remain intact? And that's part of what God's provision is here in His communion through the prophet. So we see that there is that spiritual relationship and that healing that God desires for us.

There are numerous passages as you go through the Scriptures concerning this. Turn over to Malachi for just a moment. In Malachi chapter 2, verse 14, talking again about the disciplines of God and He says, "Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously [covertly, deceitfully]." Deal with it. Put it up front and realize that there's sin that has to be dealt with. It's not just a situation. "Well, you know, we just couldn't get along so we're putting this thing apart." There's a reason for it and it has to be fixed! Because the same cancer that caused that schism is going to eat in the rest of us, if you remain in our midst. It's got to be healed. There's no place for this. Now it's interesting when He speaks here that we see the purpose for this is that there can be a godly seed.

He's looking for heads to lead a family. You know we talk about the single parent family today. What is that that is being spoken into the lives of so many people with all of these children that are being raised up in these situations? What's being spoken into these children? That, you know, commitment really isn't something that's real. As messed up as everything back in my parents' generation was, there was awareness that families needed to stay intact for the children. Oh, granted there were extramarital affairs and a lot of other weird stuff that went on and sometimes it would have been better if they had separated. But there was that thought process that this is what the children need. Well as Christians, what they need are godly examples. Not just two adults living in the same house in conflict with one another, each of them living selfishly and separate from the biblical standards. What are needed are two people fulfilling their God given roles. And children when they see the conflict, realize that each parent knows how to humble themselves and repent and say I'm sorry and be reconciled and to bring about that healing process, that shows them that they can go to their heavenly Father when they get in conflict with Him. And be reconciled and loved. And that He'll never leave us nor forsake us. So we teach by our example the faithfulness of God. And we see a godly seed that's being raised up.

There are numerous passages that we can look at in the scriptures and we realize that there is a liberty given should an unbeliever depart, I Corinthians 7. You can look there very quickly. I'm not going to make a full study out of this. I just want to speak toward some of these issues. There've been questions because of some of the occurrences in our midst. People have asked, "How do I respond? How do I deal with this or that? How is it that two people can be splitting up and they both stay in the church?" It's because they're both trying to get to heaven. If we can assist them in the course and continue under biblical guidelines, then that's what we're going to do. I Corinthians chapter 7 verse 13 says, "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now they are holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." For there's no guarantee that you'll see that person saved-very powerful statement that's made here. God's called us to peace. In conflict, strife, division all of these different areas, that's not the environment that God wants us to live in. And it's not one that brings about Christ-likeness. So if there has to be this putting away and this separation to bring this peace so that we can be reconciled back unto God, then it can provide a positive result in the end. But as we saw in Mark, you've got to remain unmarried, because to marry is to sin. It's to commit adultery.

When you begin to study the Scriptures out in these particular areas, I don't want to get off on the whole aspect of the unbelieving and they're being pleased to dwell. Pleased to dwell doesn't just mean, "Yea, I'll hang out and take you for everything I can." Pleased to dwell means you've got to live according to standards of the Word of God, the community that I'm a part of. If I'm a believer and I'm a part of this community and you and I are married, and you don't want to serve Jesus, but you want to stay in this house, then I'm not obligated to put you away. And I also have no guarantee that I can reach you. But you need to understand something; it doesn't matter if it's husband or wife speaking here. Now husband, wife is not the authority. The lordship of Jesus is the authority. This is a Christian home. And it will be lived by Christian standards. So therefore you have no place for a "unsaved" husband telling a wife, "You can't go down to that church. And you can't get involved down there and serve. And you can't give any of our money." You know she's working and it's "...give any of our money to the kingdom" and all of these kind of things. You have nothing to say about that if you're pleased to dwell. Because this is what the Word of God requires, "That's what I'm going to do." And if you're not pleased, "See you later alligator. Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I don't want to trivialize the emotional attachments and all of these different areas, but it is the ultimate authority. And if you don't love Jesus more than husbands and wives and children and families and lands then you're not worthy of Him. And so it's pretty clear. I didn't say it was easy. I didn't say it didn't cause emotional trauma. I didn't say it wouldn't be done with great trepidation and hurt and doubts. And how am I ever going to recover? And I'm devastated. That may all be part of the package, but there're no exceptions.

So, we see the Word of God is the final authority and when it is, we can walk it out clearly. And ultimately, God will be glorified. It's a big subject. We could continue on through Ezra and Nehemiah. You might even want to do some study on your own. Nehemiah chapter 13, Ezra chapters 9 and 10 and read some through there. It will give you a little more insight into how God speaks toward these situations. Leviticus 19, Matthew 19, Luke 16, we have a whole teaching on it. If you haven't heard it before you can go, check the tapes out. But as we end for tonight, I want you to go over to Matthew 19 and see if we can continue to speak toward the spirit of this situation. Matthew 19 verses 3-12, "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, [They didn't really want to know the truth. They were just tempting Him here, trying to find a loophole.] and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? [Hillel. You know we've heard this and it sounds real good to us and.] And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and [the two] shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. [This isn't something written on paper. You didn't just get something certified up in the county court. You stood before a living God and said, "We acknowledge you as Lord of our lives and we are no longer an entity to ourselves. We're one." And God said, "Then, I'll deal with you and bless you accordingly." For it's not good for man to be alone. You need the input of that male/female counterpart. It will bring wholeness to you and hopefully peace and joy. But it's not always the situation and when you run into these areas where people begin to make it impossible for the others to remain, then we have to answer this question.] They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. [In other words, it wasn't God's intention. Now you are better off to divorce than to die. "But it's not my best. It's not what I intend for you. I want you to understand," Jesus said, verse 9] And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

And so we see again, and you can read it in Mark chapter 10. You can read it in Luke 16. You can read it again back in Matthew 5. What God has joined let no man put asunder. In my church if you're going to separate from one another, if you're going to say I can't live with this person, then you're choosing to live alone. And you're waiting for reconciliation and healing in the process. And though you're cutting that hand off and plucking that eye out for the eternal good there is no trivializing of the consequences, because it wasn't so from the beginning. So we remain in the spirit of seeing both reconciled to God, both finish the course, because in the eternal, there is no marriage anyway. When that trumpet sounds and the dead are raised we're changed, we're no longer married. Marriage is a gift of God to us to help us finish this course and to help others finish the course. If they are hindering you then it's not doing what it was intended to do, the raising up of a godly seed. If all your children are seeing is hypocrisy and behind the scene fights and all of this going on, you're not doing your job. It's not accomplishing anything. Marriage was a gift to bring about a godly seed, to raise up a people in covenant that are different than the world. If your home's no different than the world's we're not doing our job. So a divorce then doesn't necessarily negate our ability to minister because the ultimate is to get each member to finish this course.

Father, we thank You for the Word of God and we just ask that You would continue to speak to us according to Your Spirit, that You would cause the peace to reign in our hearts and for Your joy to become surely the strength of our lives. Father, we know that in our midst as this division takes place, we have no place to take sides. There's no need for anybody among us to know the specifics or the details. We just have a brother and a sister who are hurting that need their hands lifted up, that need to be pointed to the eternal and not the temporal, that need on every turn to be admonished with the Word of God and encouraged-the areas that are lacking to be spoken to because if these areas were not lacking they would be together. We ask You to reconcile. If not, Father, we ask that You would preserve them to the end that they would finish as individuals and fulfill Your purposes, and we'll give You all the praise in Jesus name. Amen.

Let's stand before the Lord tonight. As Gary plays for us for just a moment and it should be very sobering for every one of us because we're no better than these are that are experiencing this trial. See the restoration in the spirit of meekness lest you be tempted. Thank God for what you have. Some of you who are not satisfied with your wives or your husbands, for whatever cause: "You know, he just doesn't seem to be pulling in the bucks that somebody else does." Or "He doesn't appreciate me to the degree that I think that I should be appreciated." "She doesn't understand the pressure that I'm under." "Wish she'd comb her hair once a week." Can I just share with you that it could be worse. That guy could be running around on you drinking up the kid's baby food money, beating you. That woman could be a continual dripping, chairman of the ERA, chairperson, I guess. You ought to thank God for what you have. It's probably better than you deserve. You ought to be thankful.

Just reach over to your spouse now and squeeze their hand or give them a little hug or whatever. Be thankful. Just be thankful. Let's pray for those in our midst that need healing and though it looks impossible, with God all things are possible. And when you look across the room at somebody else's family and their home and you think, "Man, they got it so good. Their family's so great." It's probably not as good as you think. They too, have trials. We're all trying to finish this same course. Help us, Father we ask in Jesus name. Amen.

Before you go, just turn to somebody next to you and say, "Thank God for you." Amen, go in peace, God's love go with you.

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