Bible Teaching

Calvary Temple Teaching Library

Honor Your Father and Mother Pt.2

Let's go to the book of Ephesians. I want to pick up where we were Wednesday. I want to be very cautious in this time we're spending in the Scriptures, and yet we want to be very thorough also so we can understand the heart of Father as it pertains to this relationship of divine order. As we shared on Wednesday, we know we're living in the age of lawlessness. That spirit of iniquity, or lawlessness, does already abound. It will continue to manifest itself. None of us can operate without being under its influence, and it's very natural to all of our members. To subordinate ourselves to others, including to God, is foreign to natural man. We're all rebels at heart. We are born into iniquity. It is our natural response. The preference of ourselves and the exaltation of ourselves is natural to every one of us. It takes a new heart; it takes re-creation to be able to willfully put ourselves under and in order for the glory of God. Yet that's what is so necessary in this day and age to keep us from being destroyed through the destroyer (the one who is the accuser of the brethren, the one who is the flatterer, the one who is the father of lies) as he tells us we will "not surely die" by breaking this order but that we "have rights."

We studied the first rebellious child, Adam and Eve. I say "child" and not "children" just so that we can really focus on the fact that they were one. Woman came out of man. The woman was created for the man and not the man for the woman. We see the original sin was the broken order in that she went out not only in rebellion to God, but out from under her natural head, despising Adam. Then Adam sinned and preferred her for his own selfish motives. We see the consequence in all of humanity, and it just constantly perpetuates itself generation to generation.

With that natural tendency in man, we're finding a supernatural infusion of power to oppose God, to call things that are good "evil" and evil "good," each one living solely to himself, and every man doing what is right in his own eyes. We as the church-not only as an example of Jesus dwelling in us, but as God's method of empowering us to be able to stand-can only stand as we stand as one, in order, under the authority of God. To break this order in any way is to get outside of God's covering and to set ourselves up to be destroyed by the destroyer.

So we want to talk about that a little bit, and to see that's why we're being kept in these boundaries that God has established in His Word. It's a very interesting thing. As I was meditating since our last session-look over there at Ephesians for just a second. It's a very classic passage that we all know, but even as we read it, I think we read it with such casualness because of the vexation of our lives. I mentioned that I want to be very careful, because I know in dealing with our children we are dealing with the most precious gift that God has given us to be stewards of. These children have been lent to us by the Lord. These are God's children. They are His creation. They are His treasure, His inheritance. I know that we have that value, and I know that there's also, as parents, that great sensitivity and protection that's natural within us. So we need to, all of us, just step back for just a moment and realize that we're really not looking just to get obedient children. We're not looking just to have family order. We're looking to honor God. I'm talking in the heavenlies. I'm talking about in the spiritual realm because in the context, you're going to see that right after he establishes order, he says, "Put on the whole armor of God." We cannot be fully adorned in the armor of God and be out of order. We cannot stand against the fiery darts of the enemy and be disorderly as God has placed us in the body.

So we want to look at a couple of these different things. I really tried to set forth on Wednesday the magnitude of what it meant to be disobedient to parents. I think it sank in with some of us as we looked at the Romans 1 passage. We're thinking, "Disobedient to parents" made the list! Romans 1 is "the list," right? There are many lists, but Romans 1 is "the list." "And even as they did not like to retain God..." (Romans 1:28). What a powerful statement! Listen. As they rejected and did not want to retain God, God gave them over to disobey their parents. You can say that in the context of those chapters. That is the magnitude of this sin that we're talking about.

Do you know what society would have us believe today? Do you know what many of you young people-and I'm not just talking about the teenagers here. I'm talking about the fact that if you have a parent, then you fit into this category. You study-and it doesn't take a whole lot of study to understand that this book was not written to twenty-first century America where everybody did his own thing and every household was a separate entity. This book was written with God's order of the patriarchal household to where the father is always the father, regardless of how many generations follow. We've lost sight of that and we disrespect the elders and the aged. We need to get it back into the community of Christ.

In fact, we glorify youth in this generation. The old people are idiots, and husbands are idiots, and only the kids and women have it together. We need to take a look at God's order and ask ourselves, Are we walking in that? Are we protecting ourselves with the armor of God, with the blessing of God, to preserve this house that we're building for His glory? I said all that to say this. I think we minimize these words: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1). "Okay, yes, that's right. It's what we should do." "Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth" (verses 2-3). We talked about that and we contrasted that with the Deuteronomy passage, understanding further what it meant. It is the "first commandment with promise," promise that if you keep it, you'll be blessed but if you don't, you're going to die. "And thou mayest live long...." If you rebel-we saw in Deuteronomy-you'll be destroyed. They're going to kill you!

We have really come to the place-and I'm talking to some of you older children, not just the teenagers. I'm talking to young adults. We've come to the place as young adults, even young married adults, that when our father speaks to us, we think, "Well, that's your opinion. I have my opinion; you have your opinion." In this area of obeying parents, we have this thought process: "This is just an alternative application"-similar to an "alternative lifestyle."

What is it that the people of Romans 1 have called the reproach of homosexuality? It's an "alternative way of living." We're in America, twenty-first century. It's an alternative way of living. We're all just separate households. We have our own rights and our own authority. We have our own way of doing things. We have fragmented the family, made individual households that operate totally to themselves; and I don't believe it is biblical order. I don't think that God gives any place for us to disobey our parents and justify it by our independence-"I live out of the house now. I'm on my own." I don't find anything in the Scripture that ever gives you independence from your parents. You say, "Doesn't the Bible say that a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife?" That is talking about establishing an order and a unit to be overseen with that man as the priest of that house. He assumes the responsibility, the care; but it is never, in the Scriptures, a separate entity.

We see that even in the inheritance. We're thinking as Americans. You have to get out of that thought process. Even though we don't live the same way that they did in their culture, we have to get out of that thought process. Remember how it was ordained. They had this property that was inherited, and when the patriarch died, the elder son (the one who got the double portion) assumed the oversight thereof on this piece of land, however big it might be. It might be one house and multiple families living in it; it might be a few multiple houses within this particular area. There was a patriarch. There were individual houses. There were individual responsibilities of: patriarch gone, a widow left, daughters left. The one with the double portion took care of the mother, the widow, and the unmarried daughters. He assumed the responsibility of the oversight of the general. Then every specific home operated with its inheritance independently until there was a mandate that was made by the patriarch-an Abraham that would come and at times say, "I've heard from God, and this is what we're going to do as it affects this community."

It operated that way in the household; it operated that way in the priesthood; it operates that way in the church today. Just like you are separate priests of households and you operate independently, then we come together as a community where God has set authority. We all have a right to conduct ourselves and to carry on our daily responsibilities. But when God speaks and the authority speaks the mind and the will of God, we as mature individuals, as overseers of our households, submit to the authority that God has placed over us. You never grow out of that. Many of us that are teenagers or young adults, we think that somehow we'll grow out of that. We have people here that are 60, 70 years old. They'll tell you you're always going to be under authority. It's God's order. So you need to begin to think with that type of a process, and think that way as it relates to your parents, because this is a principle that has been done away with in our generation. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." Disobedience-coming up with your own methods, thinking you're smarter-is dangerous, and many times, sin.

Let me show it to you in the Scriptures, and I think it will be something that can help us as we go on into this study. A couple of different things I'd like you to see: the necessity that we have of honoring our parents (honoring our fathers and our mothers) and the consequence of not. In Deuteronomy 21 last week, we saw that the consequence was death.

Now let me pick up just a couple more verses here, and we'll take just a second to get this again into our thinking. Deuteronomy 21, verse 20. We spent some good time on this. "This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard." That is talking about one who is irresponsible, wasting his life, non-productive, independent. As they bring him to the gate, justice is applied, and he is killed. Now we have kids today-and this is where we left off on Wednesday-that say, "We're living under the New Covenant. We're living under grace." Grace is you don't get killed. It doesn't mean you can do whatever you want, negotiate with your parents about lesser consequences to your sin and your rebellion and your pride, thinking you know better. "Well I do know better. My parents are idiots. My parents don't know anything. My parents are stupid. They always make the wrong decision." You have to understand what is coming out of your mouth. You're not judging your parents; you're judging God. You see, this thing doesn't stop with mom and dad. God put them in that role in your life. You're questioning God. "Children, obey your parents [say it] in the Lord." When your parents are serving God, when they're keeping the covenant promises, when they're pursuing God with all their hearts, they are going to make some mistakes. That's not the issue here. The issue is order. The issue is the glory and the honor of God, the order and honor of God.

Just like a wife who is going to submit to a husband when they come in to cutting that covenant, she's going into that covenant. I want to tell some of you young ladies that aren't married right yet, unless you're willing to go into a relationship to where you no longer have any say over your life, you'd better not get married. If you can't trust God to oversee that man and to orchestrate his steps, if he's not a man that will humble himself before God, submit to the Word of God, seek counselors, someone whose heart has been set on righteousness, then you don't want to begin to get into a covenant; because your role is one of submission, to put yourself under, to rank under, to do what you're told. We just don't like that today, especially in our society, with the disorder in our society today-"We're all equals," women's rights and all this stuff.

You don't have any rights but to do what God created you to do. Your role as a woman, as a wife, is to be a helpmeet to your husband, one that comes alongside to assist, not one that tries to manipulate and get your own way. If you're a manipulator, if you're sitting there trying to use womanly wiles to try to get your agenda across instead of helping your husband establish God's agenda, you're in sin. That's all there is to it. If that's the spirit that's in your home, why would you think your children aren't obeying? Boy, it's a quiet one tonight already, isn't it? The whole thing that we're trying to do is arrive at the will of God.

The husband's role as lord is not ultimate lord. He's lord of that house. We've lost that today. Men, I want to tell you something. You are lord of that house. You're not just another member. "Well, we need to discuss this and vote." There is going to be no vote! There's no vote. What I say goes. Is that how it is in your house? It should be. If it's not, bless God, you'd better repent! What I say goes-period. I've talked about it before. You say, "Doesn't anybody else have anything to say?" Well yes, they can vote. They all get one, and I get five. See, there were four of us. I get mine and the Lord's and each one of theirs. That sounds so foreign to our ears. Sarah called Abraham what? Lord. When was the last time you called your husband "lord"? He's lying there on the sofa; his belly is hanging out, and he's watching TV with the remote control. He says, "Could you get me another iced tea?" "Yes, my lord." Is that how you respond? "Get it yourself, you lazy slob!"-there is no place for that. "But what if he doesn't do his job?" He is God's problem, not yours.

If you don't follow these rules, how can you expect your kids to obey? You are living in a house of rebellion, of disorder. They are imbibing it. Every man is out for his own. You ought to practice calling your husband "lord." It ought to be so natural in your heart. There ought to be such a thanksgiving for God's lordship in your home, that you're married to a man who is seeking the will of God, who is wanting to raise up a godly seed, that you have a man who loves you, is willing to lay his life down for you and to seek the mind of God and to do the will of God and not compromise the course we're on. This course we're on is going to take a lot of personal death. You're going to have to die to dainties; you're going to have to die to luxuries at times; and you're going to have to die to your own will; and you're going to have to die to doing it like everybody else does it. Thank God for the fruit that it is going to bring in the eternal realm. Until we come to that spirit, we are not going to be able to pull this thing off.

Some of you ladies are saying, "Why did you turn on us? I thought we were supposed to be getting the kids." There is an order to this thing. "Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath" (Ephesians 6:4). How do we provoke children to wrath? It is very simple. You ask them to serve Jesus at a higher standard than you are. Boy, that got quiet! Why would you ask your children to do something you're not doing? It doesn't work that way. If you're going to lead, then lead by example. We lay our lives down for our wives. We lay our lives down for our children. And I'm not talking about this nonsense of shared vacuuming of the home. "Oh, I just need to minister to my wife." Hey, doing her job is not ministering to her. I should have gotten an amen from some of you men. "Well, I believe that we ought to share responsibilities. After all, she works an 80-hour job, and I work an 80-hour job, and the kids work 80-hour jobs. So we have to work together to clean the house. Why should I expect her to work an 80-hour job and me an 80-hour job, and her to do the dishes?" Why don't you have her stay home and do without some of the luxuries? Whoa! Don't ask me how we got here. I wasn't planning on going this way tonight. But here it goes; hang on. I didn't have a clue we were going to end up where we are right now, with me in hot water.

If you can't do it orderly, then you're out of order. If you have to break these biblical principles-"Well, you can't live in Washington, D.C. on one salary." It's very difficult, and maybe you can't. Maybe it requires it in some of our lives because some of us have jobs that make more than others. We're not all equal. I understand it may take two incomes just to meet the necessities. Now, the houses that have older children-I'm not talking about strapping a toddler to the vacuum and having them pull it through the house. I'll tell you what. I grew up in a home where both my parents worked. You know who did the house work? I washed the dishes; I vacuumed. My mother worked.

See, ladies, we're turning on the kids now. Get ready. Hey, if you're out having to supplement the household-and I'm talking supplement. I'm not talking plasma TVs, iPods, $600 tennis shoes. I'm talking about "food and raiment therewith be content." If you can't get food and raiment on one salary, and there has to be a subsidy to get just the necessities of life, then I want to tell you something. The children that are old enough need to be carrying their load. And everybody said? [Congregation responds:] Amen. There is no place at all for children to lie around the house and do nothing, especially when there has to be this type of a communal contribution to meet these necessities.

So here we are: Children obeying your parents for this is right, wives submitting to your husbands as unto the Lord-in everything, calling them lord, acknowledging their lordship, giving them respect. How much respect are you building in your children, ladies? Are you making their dad their hero? Do they see you following his lead? Do they hear you murmuring? Are you joining them, your children, in a conspiracy to hide stuff from dad? "Here comes Dad. Don't tell Dad." Most of us wouldn't do that type of a thing. We wouldn't speak it; we just do it. Are your kids convinced that mom's will will be done in your house? "Oh, she'll get her way eventually." The kids say, "Oh, let's watch Mom. She always gets around Dad. We'll find out how to do it by watching her." "But isn't Dad lord?" "Yeah, he's lord idiot." I know this is an extreme, but it just grieves me to see the spirit of the world creeping into our midst and God's glory being robbed.

I make these comments, and even to us Christians I can see some of you even just kind of cringing when I make that comment. Some of you, when you even think about calling your husband "lord," when you think of absolute submission, obedience, and honor, it's so foreign; and you wonder why our children are rebels. If they're not rebels in their actions, many of them are rebels in their minds and in their hearts, because each one is doing what is right in their own eyes. Each one is drawing his own conclusions. God forbid that any of us would believe that those that are over us would know better. It's a tragic, tragic thing.

The Scriptures speak toward this in a couple of areas. Let me throw out a couple of verses here for you. Leviticus 19:32 says, "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord." Hmm. Where is that respect for the elders today, the ones that have experience? "Be followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises." Proverbs 23:22: "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old." First Timothy says it this way: "Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren." You don't know everything. You need counsel. You need people with experience speaking into your lives.

We can go on and on, but we've lost respect for the aged. I love to get around old people. I loved the times that I had with Willard Cantelon and some of these men that I could sit and imbibe the spirit from these guys. These people had been at this 20 years longer than I. Every time I sat with them, I could learn something and admire the fruit in their lives and the choices that were made in so many areas. I could find things that he did wrong. There are things that he did that I wouldn't emulate in detail, but I'd sit and listen and know that he had something that he could share that would change my life.

"Honour thy father and mother...and thou mayest live long on the earth." It would sure be easier to be able to just take them out, but God is merciful. I want to share a couple of passages tonight as we look at this principle. In Deuteronomy 27:16, we saw "Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen." I want you children-and I won't even say young people. I'm talking about teenagers, young adults, married; it doesn't make any difference. You put yourself under a curse the moment you try to put your parents in a bad light. Anytime you begin to mock them, ridicule, diminish their position, or question their authority. When you're out with somebody else and you say, "Oh, my dad (blah, blah, blah)," then you put yourself under a curse. This isn't playing games. You've now brought the wrath of God on yourself by despising God's order and the counselors that He has put into your life. This is some powerful stuff! So when we begin to look at these principles, we realize that you're going to be put to death for rebellion and stubbornness.

When is this thing broken? You have to understand it has to be broken when they are little. What we're really talking about as it starts with children is it's a clash of wills, isn't it? How many of you know why God chastens us? He loves us, right? But He is chastening us to break our will. He wants to inject His will, His wisdom, into our life, His ways. So when we choose our own way, when we think we know better and we choose that course, God chastens us. He brings upon us the curses. The blessings are no longer flowing. The heavens become as brass. Instead of our enemy coming against us in one way and fleeing in seven, we do the fleeing. We're now in fear in our lives. All of these things have become part of the curse. Nothing we touch prospers in the spirit realm.

Proverbs 30, verse 11 says, "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." I think there has been one in every generation, but I've never seen it like it is today, this spirit. A generation that curses-that doesn't mean "swears at" them. What it's really talking about, if you look at the word in the Hebrew, it comes right along those same lines that I was talking about: setting a light before. It's talking about despising, diminishing, ridiculing. To stand up and to diminish your father's wisdom, thinking you know better, is to curse them. It is to mock them. You might as well walk up and slap them in the face, and if you do, they'll kill you. How serious, really, is this subject mater that we're on? "Well, I was just mad for a moment." You'd better learn to put a watch over your mouth.

How many of you remember the good old days when something came out of your mouth that shouldn't, your folks would slap you across the face? "See, we're Christians today. Christian psychologists have said that you shouldn't in any way destroy the image of the child. You don't want to ridicule them in front of their peers." So we have all of these ways of taking them aside so they don't lose face before anybody. I almost lost my face a couple of times!

My favorite story-of course I've told you many times. We were sitting at the table one time. We were really giving my mom a hard time. My brother just poured it on her, and she reached over and just-pow!-with her fist hit me dead on in the eye. I was sitting next to her. I kind of went like this [Pastor covers his eye], and said, "What did you hit me for?" She said, "Because I couldn't reach him."

Now I had my own methods too. My brother was the oldest. He always got spanked first. So when Dad would come there and whip us, it would always be interesting. I'd do something; get in trouble, and we'd come home. So many times, my dad would be behind the door. We'd walk in and-slam!-the door would close. He was there with that belt. Now my brother was the oldest, so he always got it first. How many of you were the oldest? Thank God for older siblings. So he'd get it first, and as Dad whipped him, I'd start crying. So I got it easier. It would be great. I'd start crying and he'd say, "Okay, both of you get in the other room."

We're living in a generation without consequences. Without consequences, the flesh doesn't learn. That's why God implemented the rod. We have to understand that. There needs to be a price paid. Pain. I love that in that one Rocky movie, the one with Mr. T. They asked him, "What's your prediction for the fight?" and old Mr. T goes, "Pain!" It's a good teacher, pain.

We've got some kids around here running their mouths way too much. We're trying to figure some way to help them out. We've tried different things, and they haven't gotten the results we need. So we're going to try something different, but we're going to keep after it until it works. You see, this is what many of you parents need to share with your kids: "We're winning. You're not going to win this thing. We're at war. You lose. You want to fight me? You lose. Do you want to know why you lose? Because God is on my side, because I'm His representative. You're fighting me and God. Don't fight up." Don't fight up. Don't move up a weight class. What class are you going to fight in this week? "Divine." You're going to lose!

So there needs to be pain, physical pain. God puts physical pain on us in many ways. God will remove blessings from us. That brings pain. Privileges that are lost, that brings some pain. But those never do away with the rod and reproof. "Well, I've taken away privileges. I've put them on restriction." That's great-after you whip them and instruct them as to what God said the offense was, how you fix it, how you expect them to live. "Here's what I expect out of you. If you don't do it that way, we're going to do this process again."

How many times do you spank them for the same thing? We know at least a hundred, according to the Scriptures. "I'm going to whip you every time you do that." You say, "What good does it do?" God said to do it; that's what good it does. It's God's method. "Yeah, but they've just got a big callous on their butt now." Hit them harder, and then go ahead and add a few more things that hurt. Depending on their age, you take away the privileges. You know why we don't? Because it is hard on us. I've heard that said here by the staff. We're trying to deal with some kids and I said we might need to do this and that. "Do you know how much time that takes?" Yes, a bunch! So let's either give up on them and give them to the devil, or let's invest our lives in trying to drive this foolishness out of them. We're at war; we win. If they remain in the kingdom, we're going to win because God is on our side. This is what we have to realize.

"The rod and reproof." First of all, I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm going to. (I know we're digressing a long way.) You don't spank a baby. You don't go in there and say, "What are you doing sinning? Your sleep is supposed to be sweet! It's the promise of God. How dare you, you rebellious thing? Don't you know the blessings of the Lord?" That's a little exaggeration, but I'm trying to make a point. When do we start this war? When they become cognizant and are making willful decisions against what they know is right that you've instructed them to do. Sometimes our kids are just being kids.

The one thing that has to happen is this: we need to be able to guide our children with our eye. When I speak to my child and say, "Come here," they are coming. I've seen some of you chasing your kids around. This is not a track meet. You don't chase kids. Oh, you might initially have to do it once or twice. But I want to guarantee you something. That little guy, that little two-year old or eighteen-month old, or whatever they are, they are not going to outrun you. And when you catch them-pain! It doesn't take them long. They go, "Hmm...run/pain. Is it worth running?" Obedience. "Come here." "[Child thinking:] Run/pain. Run/pain. Run/pain." He comes over. You say, "Good. Thank you. I just want you to stand right here." The little guy thinks, "I thought I was going to get a whipping. You mean I was just being a little kid, and Dad just wanted to control me a little bit so I didn't get in trouble? It wasn't about me being a kid. It was about me being rebellious and running that caused that pain." They start figuring that out. They're smarter than you think. It doesn't take long.

So we don't spank them for being children. They're children! We spank them for being rebels, for being disobedient, for self-will, for defiance. We begin to make those decisions at a young age, and they begin to see habitually that what they're going to get is justice. They're going to receive love and mercy, but they are also going to receive pain when there is rebellion, when there is a defection. Now we're beginning to teach them the righteousness of God, the justice of God. They are learning this thing. It's easy. It's simple.

The reason so many parents have trouble is because they don't apply it systematically. They don't apply enough pain to get the point across. We are not talking about abusing your children. We're not talking about anything that would be, for little people out of order, other than just some pain. You swat their bottom to where it hurts. Naturally, we don't want that. We don't want to hurt. The Scripture says it drives foolishness far from them. When does it stop? When the foolishness stops.

So let's go back to this aspect again. We're running out of time, but I want to set the order here for the respect of our parents. Micah says in Chapter 7, verse 6, "For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house." That's an interesting statement. We quote that many times, but we don't realize that we're breeding enemies if we're allowing rebellion to function in our house. You're breeding defectors. There should be a size love and a respect. The glory of the children should be their fathers. Are you accomplishing that, ladies, in your home? That's your job: to build up dad in the children's eyes. There is no greater sin you can commit against your children than to dishonor their father. The moment you begin to question his authority in their sight, you are breeding rebels. Many of us almost laugh at the 1950s-"Dad is always right. Father knows best." Boy, that would be a title for something today! When was the last time you heard that? It never ceases to amaze me. The dad doesn't know what tires to order; he doesn't know what brand of oil; the guy is always an idiot, and it's constant. You know what? I don't think it's the case in here, but in society, I think men have begun to believe that. It dishonors God, and it's not going to be in the kingdom of God. So here we are, looking for that order to be reestablished so that God can be glorified. We have to deal with this ungratefulness toward God in the lives of these generations.

Proverbs 30, verse 17 says, "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it." Now there's a consequence for you! I'll end with this, trying to be practical. Over and over again, listen to the magnitude of the consequences in God's order for disobedient children and ask yourself what consequences are your children paying in your house? Are you properly representing God? Look at the magnitude of these consequences. Men, priests of your house, let me ask you this: Are you properly representing God? Is the punishment fitting the crime? Disobedience is not a minor thing. It brings the death penalty.

Let me ask you something. How many times do you have to call your children? Again, that Bill Cosby thing-"Come here, come here, c'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" "Let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay" (James 5:12). Don't get all worked up. Don't get angry. Men, begin to practice orge: mild, controlled, calculated wrath. You just go [Pastor nods his head]. Your kids ought to go, "Oh Lord, here it comes!" The kids ought to see it-"There goes the car. Dear Lord, I'm going to be working...." Your yea is yea. When I say it, it's law. There is no debate. There is no negotiating.

I mentioned it last week. Your kids ought to fear you. You say, "I don't understand that." Are any of you afraid of God? Anybody? How many of you are afraid of God? Because it says, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31). I'm afraid of God. Jesus taught us that. He said, "Don't be afraid of men; be afraid of God." I'm afraid of God. I am afraid of God. I am afraid of being wrong. I'm afraid of not doing right. I have made certain choices initially because I didn't want to go to hell. Is there anybody here that would like to skip hell? It wasn't, "Oh, I just want to honor God." I didn't want to go to hell. "Honoring God, we'll deal with that later. Hopefully I'll grow into that, but right now, I don't want to go to hell. Father, I'm not going to do this because I love You. I'm afraid You're going to send me to hell, so I'm doing what You said." "Oh, but Father just wants us to love Him." He has a long time to work on that-eternity.

"You'll come to loving Me. You'd better fear Me. When you grow up, you'll love Me. When you grow up, you'll love Me." This isn't about a love feast; this is about a beating. You're going to do what I tell you. You're going to do it how I tell you, and you're going to do it when I tell you. We're learning to have our wills broken so that as we mature and we grow up and God our Father speaks to us, we're not deceived as to who we are-"I'm not only not bigger than God, I'm not bigger than Dad. I don't rank number one. Let's see. Where am I on the list? I think the dog outranks me in the house; I don't know." It's the breaking of that false image of the worth of our own personal wills. Dads, that's what we're doing. That's what the military did when it broke us down and we just came to the place where we understood it's not going to be our way; I've got to do what I'm told. When I'm told to get up, I get up. When I'm told to stand in line, I stand in line. When they say march, I march. That's the kingdom of God. We've lost that in our military today; we've lost it in our homes today, but we're not going to lose it in the church.

So how are you doing with the little ones? How are you starting this thing out? We'll deal with some specifics, and hopefully if you have questions we're going to answer some of those. But I want to deal with the spirit of this thing. I want you to understand the severity of disobedience and what you are breeding when you allow the little ones to get away with it, to have sporadic application instead of consistency. They'll grow up, then, and ultimately they'll rise up and call you blessed. They'll honor Father by producing a godly seed after themselves, because when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). What have you built in them to this time? It's a tragic, tragic thing to watch lives being destroyed by their parents in the guise of love and compassion, believing the lies. The spin doctors of this generation have created young people that think they are equal to their elders, or superior. We need to come to that place of giving honor to whom honor is due. For the eye that mocks his father shall be plucked out-the magnitude, the consequences, of disobedience.

Father, we thank You for Your Word tonight. As we look at this subject again, what do we do with the rebellious child, the disobedient? You love them and you bring them the rod, the chastisement, the rod and reproof, the instruction, the direction, as to the course that you want them on. You help them understand and then you walk them through it. You tell them, "Here's how you do it. I'm going to help you, but if you don't obey, you don't do this my way, then I'm going to discipline you; I'm going to spank you (for the little ones, especially)." It doesn't take more than a couple of times. They begin to understand the consequences. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15). This is the wisdom of God. Your ways are not better. "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die" (Proverbs 23:13).

Do you love them enough? Do you love your children enough to have them dislike you now? Do you love Father enough to have your children dislike you for the moment? Chastisement is grievous for the moment. Nobody likes it-"Oh boy, another whipping!" Nobody likes it, but it works the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Their repentance and their recognition of your love and your wisdom may be instantaneous. Right afterwards, they might say, "I was wrong. Thank you. I know you love me, and I don't know why I did that. My flesh is so out of control. Help me." You say, "I will. I'll beat you again next time you do it." Just hug them and send them on their way. "My dad loves me enough to whip me every time I'm wrong. I'm blessed, praise God! He is delivering my soul from hell." Do you understand that, dads? If you spare for their crying-"I want to be my son's buddy." You are not his buddy; you're his dad. "I want my kids to like me." I want my kids to go to heaven. As they mature, they'll love you. They'll realize it. That's what it means.

Ladies, as we spoke earlier, calling that man "lord," this is a tough job. If we're doing our job right, there's a lot of weeping; there's a lot of brokenness; there's a lot of death to self in applying the principles of God and the standards of God that everything in us emotionally doesn't want to do as it pertains to wives, as it pertains to children. But we're only under-shepherds. We are just stewards over God's heritage. Oh, it has its perks, but this isn't an easy job. That's why we need your help, ladies. These are the things that when they are properly applied, will bring glory to God.

Father, we thank You for Your Word tonight and we just ask that You would continue to guide us and strengthen us. Help us to step back and ask ourselves the question: In my home, is the severity, is the consequence to rebellion/disobedience, the same as it is in the heart and the mind of God? Have we put the same price on not wanting to retain God in our consciousness and in our minds, in choosing our will over God's will, in despising His authority, in despising His wisdom, in despising His priest, and then we just wink at it?

Let me close with this one statement again. Men, let this thing hit your hearts. When the prophet spoke to Eli, he said, "[Cursed will be] his house for ever for the [sin] which he knoweth" (1 Samuel 3:13). We know what we're not doing correctly. You know it. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do to obey God? What are you going to do to choose God over your sons, over your children? What are you going to do to bring the proper honor back to our Father? That's your role, men, nobody else's.

Let's stand before the Lord tonight. We're not going to sing anything tonight. You could go away a little bit depressed or a little bit overwhelmed, but you don't have any need to because God has already given you everything that pertains to life and godliness. His wisdom is in you. His Word is very clear. You have no need to fear. You have not received the spirit of fear. If you do it God's way, you're not going to lose your kids; you're not going to lose your wife. You're going to gain them. You do it your way, it's hopeless. You've lost them already. Oh, you may retain them momentarily, and you're going to be the contributor to them finding themselves possibly in a devil's hell. You're not smarter than God.

So we step back. We set Him as preeminent. His Word is truth; His honor is our goal. Turn to your wives and tell them, "I need your help if we're going to do this right." And you ladies respond and say, "Yes, lord, I'm going to help you out." Then you can get it done. That's the only way we're going to pull this thing off. Some of you young people, you need to find your dad and your mom tonight and just tell them, "You know, I choose to obey you so that I can honor God. I want you to help me honor God."

Do you want to know what's tragic? Even as families here, we don't talk together. You talk to your friends about things that you don't talk to your family. You tell your friends how much you love your wife. Why don't you tell your wife? How many times have your children seen you just grab your wife and embrace her and just tell her, "I love you, honey." The kids are all going, "Oh gross, Dad." They might be doing that, but inside they're going, "Praise God!" We just don't tell each other. You need to tell the right person, "I'm thankful for your role. I appreciate what you're doing to contribute to the wholeness of this house." "I thank you, Dad. I know you love me. I know I don't always show it." Kids, you need to learn to talk. You talk to your friends, dear God, about everything that's meaningless. Talk to your parents and tell them what's in your heart. Tell them that you love them, and thank them for loving you. Tell your kids you love them. When you make a mistake-I've shared that before-just own up to it. Say, "I don't get everything right, but God does. If I do it wrong, then pray for me. But I'm going to do something to honor God." If we'll do that and work together, Father will be glorified in our midst. It's our hearts' desire, Father. Grant it, in Jesus' name, amen. Turn to somebody and say, "I'm going to find my place." God bless you. Go in peace.

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