[A trio sang "I Am Crucified With Christ."] I heard that on the radio. I don't remember which program I was listening to. I thought, That says it all. That says it all about what we've been studying all of these months. I don't know who sings it necessarily, but as I started listening to the words-if you get a chance, just go over the words over and over. The message is absolutely pure and powerful: "He never asks more than the cross can provide." It's sufficient to meet every need. That embracing and that death to self is really an exciting thing.
Let's turn to Matthew, Chapter 19. We want to continue along with the study on two becoming one. I'm going to reiterate a number of things that we shared at Men's Breakfast the other day, because as confident as I am that all the husbands came home and shared everything that took place in the meeting verbatim-I know that happens all the time-we'll try to hit some of the highlights anyway and see what we can do.
It really starts there with the men. That's why we took the time in Men's Breakfast yesterday. Men, you are the final authority in the lives of your children as it pertains to their individual course that you oversee and spiritually as the patriarch of your household. There are requirements placed upon you, and you can't take it lightly. Ladies, of course, your role is to support them in God's ordained role as the head of the home. Children obeying their parents in the Lord; wives submitting to your husbands as unto the Lord; husbands loving your wives as Christ loved the church, willing to die to self for them: that's what love is really all about.
So as we look at this subject, I was telling the men yesterday that the thing we have to do first of all is unravel all of the bondage that we're in in our thought processes. We just taught a couple of weeks ago on the battle of the mind: renewing the mind and putting on the whole armor of God, holding up the shield of faith against the fiery darts of the enemy, pulling down every thought and imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. We talked about the battle we're having with the spirit of this age. As I taught that, many of us are thinking, "Yes, okay. I'm free from that. Praise God." I shared that we're under greater bondage than many of us really know as it pertains to the spirit of the age, the spirit of this world, the spirit of antichrist. What I'm going to be sharing with you this morning, you need to see as that very spirit, the spirit of antichrist: anti-Christian thought, anti-Jesus' lordship. It's the fruit of what we've been teaching on. You talk about a long study! How long have we been teaching (five, six, seven years) one message? Two trees: that has been the message for how many years now? There are only two trees. There is that fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. There are a lot of good secular things-good from the natural perspective. Then there is the tree of life, the very wisdom of God. We saw that one wisdom-the wisdom of this world that is earthly, sensual, and demonic-is constantly in opposition with the spirit of wisdom, the wisdom of God, of which the natural mind cannot receive those things for they are "foolishness to him," Paul said to the Corinthians.
When I make statements that are biblically based and it sounds foolish to you or foreign to you or offensive to you, then what mind are you hearing with? I made a statement here Wednesday night. I saw the response, and it really saddened me as I made the comment concerning the biblical pattern of parents arranging marriages. All of the single young people were horrified. Instantly, I took note of that. As I went home that night, I began to think about what it is that causes our young adults to be so fearful of their parents choosing their spouses, and what would have created that. Many of us here that believe we're Christians, many of us here that believe we have the mind of Christ, I want to tell you, you have the mind of Hollywood when it pertains to relationships-Harlequin romance, the spirit of this age. As I shared in Men's Breakfast yesterday, what we really need to do is step back and understand how influenced we've become by Western civilization's thought. Beloved, we are not Americans. We are not members of the new enlightened Western civilization. We are Christians, and God's wisdom and God's truth transcend time, culture, and philosophy. We need to come back and ask ourselves what it is, then, that causes us to think the way we think. If, in fact, when scriptural principles are introduced and it repulses us, repels us, or frightens us, then we need to really ask ourselves if we have the mind of Christ. Is Jesus the Lord of my life? Do I believe that God's Word is true?
I shared with you Wednesday night to relax. We're not trying to propagate arranged marriages, but you need to be free from the thought processes that many of you are in bondage to, because those thought processes have perverted in your thinking what love is, what marriage is. Many of you, because of that perverted thought process, will never know the will of God, because it can't be discerned from that perspective. You'll know your will. You'll know the imposition of your will on God and try to manipulate Scripture to justify it. But as we taught in our study a couple of weeks ago, we need to realize this when it comes to spiritual guidance: a man's heart devises a way, but the Lord orders our steps. I want to tell you something, young people. God has a plan for your life. I'll say it again. God has a plan for your life. Can somebody say amen? [Amen.] And He's not asking for your permission. You can make choices contrary, and you'll pay consequences. You'll still be a son of God; God will love you; and you'll just have to get whipped, that's all. You'll be chastened. For some of you, that chastisement might go the rest of your life as you bear the consequences of being out of the will of God and despising the manna. You'll have quail coming out of your nostrils for the rest of your life.
How do we, then, approach this topic? As we shared, it's the second greatest decision you'll ever make in your life. The first greatest decision you'll ever make is to make Jesus the lord of your life. The second greatest decision you'll ever make is a life's mate. How do I find a life's mate? Who is going to be my life's companion? We hear stories about soul mates and many of these different perspectives, and in God's sovereignty, there is many times an absolute course that is set that is irrefutable. But within God's sovereign being, through His eternal perspective, His infinite knowledge, His omniscience, Father already knows. He has a great plan for your life, but it's not predestination. God knows, and He has given us guidelines that we can make choices in, because we are free moral agents. You have something to say about it. So how do I make this wise decision? How do I know that I'm safe and in the will of God? God has already set up a way to keep you safe. It's called divine order; it's called the family; it's called the wisdom in the multitude of counselors; it's called patriarchal authority. Though we're not going to promote in any way arranged marriages, biblical order definitely reveals clearly paternal authority. Though your dad may not arrange your marriage, he must sign off on it for you to be in the will of God. Can you say amen to that? If Dad doesn't approve, it's not God. Now, we're talking, of course, about a godly dad. Children, obey your parents [say it] in the Lord.
Why would we-this is what we shared in Men's Breakfast yesterday-as young people be horrified by the thought that our parents have the final say or might, in fact, even choose our life's mate? I'm not ruling that out. There would be nothing wrong with that. In fact, scripturally, when you go back and read the Bible, the large majority of all biblical marriages were arranged by the parents. It is the biblical pattern, so it's not wrong. What I don't want you to be mistaken by is to think that when I say that Western civilization's thought processes have perverted our thinking, I am implying that Eastern thought process is correct. They are both wrong without God in the center of them. It so happens that in the Eastern thought process, God chose to inject Himself into humanity and make a covenant with Abraham-in that culture, in that civilization. I think it was not by mistake. I think it was because in those patriarchal societies, in those societies, there was authority; there was the representation of God through their specific authority, which was undone by Western thought.
A lot of people debate where Western civilization began. Many of them seem to think it came in the Greek culture. We know its revival in the Renaissance, but what we need to understand is basically, when we talk about Western civilization, we're talking about a couple of specific things. This isn't all there is to it, but it has to do with the independent thought processes of man-"I now, as an individual, am an independent thinker, responsible for myself; I will not be governed by outside information; I am a distinct entity to myself." From that emerged the processed government of democracy, everyone having an equal say. This begins to be the process of where we are in Western civilization and as you look from our roots in Europe. The one thing that we do know is that democracy is not the best form of government. Totalitarian rule is the best form of government-if you have a good dictator. We do in our kingdom: His name is Jesus. Guess what? In His kingdom, you don't vote. He is Lord, and we all just do what we're told.
We see this battle for our minds. The thing is this has gone on for not only centuries, but millennia. We're sitting here, and we think that we're thinking properly because we know no other way to think. We're horrified when we look at the Eastern cultures and think, "Dear God, how can anybody just do what they're told? We have rights!" Not everybody thinks that way. Not everybody has been raised in that type of a society. So here we are in our thoughts-now don't mistake what I'm saying either. If you give me a choice in the natural of which type of a culture I would want to live in, I'd choose this. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about the kingdom of God versus the kingdom of darkness. We're talking about how to experience the kingdom of God in the midst of the society, the culture, the environment, that we're living in. Do we begin to let our environment dominate our thoughts, or do we live by the Word of God? Can we be in the world and not of it? Yes. So how did you get thinking the way you're thinking? What's your definition of love? What's the proper way to find your life's mate? What comes to mind will be what's in your heart in abundance. What you defend, what you speak, is what's dominating your thoughts, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
So we're really dealing with the ability to recognize the purpose of God and the method of God in the midst of all the inundation of Western civilization and these thoughts that we just assume are right. We assume this is correct thinking. That's why the world looks at us as Christians, and not all-they look at most Christians this way, people like us especially. We are really weird. We are strange folks when the world looks at us. People look at us and they just shake their heads. They can't believe that people like us still exist, that we haven't been enlightened yet. You see, that's what Western civilization is all about: enlightenment. "Dear God, you still believe in wives submitting to their husbands, in a patriarchal environment where there's a head of a clan?" God said, "I chose you, Abraham, not because you were special, not because were of a super race, not because were of super intellect, not because of your great specific gifts and character." God said specifically, "I chose you because you would teach your children and your children's children these commandments." That's our job. That's why God chose us.
With that in thought, let's ask ourselves why we think the way we think. It's backwards. I'll share this. I'll just throw a couple of other things out that I shared in Men's Breakfast. One of the deacons asked a question. They said they have people come to them and say, "Well, you know, I hear the teaching and I understand what's being said, but I just don't have any feelings [Pastor sings, "Feelings/Nothing more than feelings...."] for that person." Well, let's ask ourselves where those feelings come from. I'm going to give you a biblical principle. Men are bad. Women are worse, but men are bad. Women are evil. Men are just stupid. Men are just dogs. Women are conniving and evil and sneaky. You have to watch them, guys, I'm telling you-not Christians. I'm talking about in general. That's why you can't go out there and play around in the world. These women will pick you off. They are dangerous folks! Read Proverbs. You can't fool around out there; you're going to get a dart in your liver. These women are all running around carrying these darts, and they flatter, and they manipulate, and they have their little womanly wiles. You're just a dumb ox, full of testosterone, ready to be killed. That's where we're living. If you don't take these biblical principles, if you don't put on this armor we're talking about, you're going down one way or another. So we need to approach this and understand the severity of what we're talking about.
The Bible says this-God speaking through Paul, talking to the Ephesians, "For no man ever yet hated his own [body; talking about mankind, but specifically the male species]; but nourisheth and cherisheth it." And then he talks about how to take that and relate to our wives properly in love. What I'm saying is this. Let me tell you where those feelings come from. Do you want to know what it is that draws you to a certain person? Adam and Eve, Eve was taken from Adam. Adam was made from the dust. Out of him was taken the woman, in Hebrew the neged, the negative. Because of that, it's not good for man to be alone. None of us are whole that are alone. The perfect man is the one who exists in plurality: two made one. Without that, we're incomplete. The thing that caused Adam to love Eve was that when he looked at her and then he looked into the mirror, it was the same image-"She's beautiful! She looks just like me!" I know what some of you men are thinking. "Dear God, I'm glad my wife doesn't look like me." And to that, we say, "Amen." The point that I'm making is what we love in other people is what benefits us in the natural. I'm not talking about Christians.
Do you want to know why I think that woman-I see this woman and she's beautiful. The reason she's beautiful is because she meets my criteria of beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? We want that woman. Why? "I want that woman because looking at her pleases me." Then we come into this dilemma. I'm just talking right now, so we'll be back. This is all going to show you some stuff about human nature. I see that woman; she pleases me; she meets my criteria for beauty and that pleases me; so I want her and I want to look at her a lot. Then through deception, we get this because of pride-"And I want to take that beautiful woman and I want to put her on my arm so that everyone will envy me when I'm walking down the street." The thing you don't know is some people are looking and saying, "Where did he get that bow wow?" When your wedding present is Purina.... It's in the eye of the beholder. We're deceived. What we think is so beautiful, what we think will give us credibility in the eyes of others, what we think makes us superior, doesn't necessarily match up with what everybody else thinks. You're not getting out of it what you think you're going to get out of it. It's deception. It all is based on selfishness and pride, that my perception, my placing worth on that, makes it so valuable. It's pride. It's all self-centered. It stinks!
The physical appeal-and I won't spend a lot of time on that. I'll speak from the man's perspective; it's easier for me. Though over the years, I've learned to think like you ladies. That's why you can't sneak up on me. I've spent a lot of years learning to think like a woman. I've had to, because I don't just talk to men. I'm responsible to look into your hearts, ladies, and into your minds and to know how you work if I'm going to give wise counsel and teach the Word of God and bring these things to you. So I look on this woman, and she's beautiful. She's going to meet my needs. She meets the requirements that gratify me from the outward perspective, and I have feelings. She thinks like I think, and she likes the things that I like in the natural. She says, "You're so strong. You're so handsome"-all the lies you ladies tell, all of these things that are there and are building up the ego of man. So now, I'm attracted to her. Now my hormones are raging, and now my psuche (my mind, my soul, part of my heart) is being given to this particular person. Now I have an appetite for them; I want them, because that's going to satisfy me, gratify me. I have feelings.
Now let me share something with you. I asked the question to these men, and I wouldn't let them raise their hands, ladies. You're going to see why. I asked them this question, "How many of you love your wives more today than when you first married them?" Now you can see why I didn't have them raise their hands. I didn't want everybody lying in public. Most of them would have raised their hands, because the fact is genuine love grows, doesn't it? They would have raised their hands, the majority of them. "How many of you love your wives more today than when you married them?" Then I asked another question: "How many of you love your wives differently today than when you first married them?' I guarantee you every one of them would have raised their hands, because genuine love cannot be exhausted; it's progressive. God is love. Everyone that loves is born of God. Love never fails. That doesn't mean that it just doesn't quit; it means that there is no end to its capacity. What I shared with the men-ladies, this will help you-is that these feelings that we have, if you start off with feelings, if you start off with eros- There are the Greek words for love. There's eros, from which we get the word "erotic." There is phileo love, which we call "brotherly love, family love, social love." Then there is agape. I want to tell you something. All of those feelings are eros combined with some phileo, the limited knowledge that you have. As Christians, my question to you would be-and love is exactly the opposite of the second law of thermodynamics which says everything begins to deteriorate. Love begins to be more unified, purer, more perfect, more godly. I want to tell you something. Listen to me. "I just don't have any feelings." Feelings are easy. I'll say it again: feelings are easy. "All I have for them is agape. All I have for them is recognizing the fruit in their life. All I have is the ability to see that they're kind and gentle and meek and faithful. I have spiritual eyes to see all of the fruit of the spirit in them, but I don't have eros." Eros is easy! It's that other stuff that's hard. Why start with the inferior? You want to know why? Hollywood. Western civilization.
When I say "Western civilization," I'm talking about independence, self-reliance, "a man's heart devises the way [and we stop right there and cut God out of the thing, who directs our steps]." So I want to encourage many of you young adults and some of you youth who will be coming up into this process. Eros is easy. Eros is a natural consequence of true biblical love. I'll say it again. True biblical love will produce the feelings when it's time. Do you want to know why you don't have the feelings? You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to give your heart away until there's a covenant. You are not supposed to invest your emotions and your heart into somebody else until you have made a covenant with them. The very thing you're looking for is illicit from the biblical perspective. It's not yours to give or to require without a covenant being made. We have so cheapened it in our civilization and called it love, and it's nothing but lust, eroticism, sensual, psychological fulfillment and pleasure, and selfishness. And God has called us to love. Love is all about preferring the object of love and desiring the good of the object loved.
Back to where we made the comment earlier. That was kind of a little-we'll be doing that a lot. Why am I afraid of my father picking out my life's mate? Why do I even have trouble, though a little less, with them signing off? When I say "signing off," that doesn't mean you bring one home every day on the checklist-"How about this one?" It should be known. The standards are the same for all of us. Do you want to know what that fear is in our hearts? Because we're still under the influence of pagan thought, and we see our earthly fathers the same way we see our heavenly Father: "If I surrender everything, take everything out of my hands, and say, ‘I trust you, Father,' then you know what He's going to do? He's going to send me to Africa. I'm going to be poor. I'm going to get the ugliest person in the world to marry. They're going to have warts with hair growing out of them, and they'll be chasing Toto around all the time." We have taken years to teach you that's not your Dad. Authority, God, is not trying to punish you. He doesn't want life to be rough for you. It is His good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Lights with whom there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. God wants your best. God wants to meet your desires. He wants to take what you're saying ("Here's what I would prefer, Dad"), and say, "If I can get you that, I'm going to get that for you. You like that guy right over there? That's the one I'd like to get for you if it doesn't hurt you, if it's not for the wrong motives, if it's not because of a perverted heart." He's not opposed to you having your desires. What makes you think that Father doesn't want you to have your own heart's desires? He wants to give you your heart's desire, but He wants you to first give Him your heart, to trust Him. The reason you can't trust your dad is because you don't trust your Father. Granted, we have a little more problem with dad than we do Father, because Father is perfect, and we all know dad. As good as most of our dads are here, they're not perfect. But this [holds up Bible] is. This is the book. This is how we find your life's mate.
So, you come and say, "I think I found him." You say, "Wait a minute. Let's look him up." Where do we look him up? We look him up in Galatians. You see, I want to look him up in Galatians. I want to see whether they meet the requirements, the fruit of the spirit in their lives. The one thing we know is this one basic requirement: you cannot be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. So we have that clear. Now, unbelievers. "Everybody who does not attend Calvary Temple is an unbeliever"-some people think we believe that. Anybody who thinks that about us doesn't have a clue who we are. We absolutely involve ourselves in the universal church. We understand the diversity. We understand the different calls and emphases of ministries. We understand that we're a small, small, small, small part of this great organism called the church: born-again people going to heaven. The requirement says you can't marry an unbeliever. That's the general instruction to us. God's wisdom becomes more specific-not specific statements, but as you know the Word of God and you know the order of God, it becomes very specific. We have the church, believers, right? Within the church, there are many different emphases and visions and purposes to fulfill the whole body. There is a biblical principle. How can two walk together except they be [what?] agreed? When you marry somebody, you get the whole family. I won't make any other comments. Some of you are out there going [look of horror]. You get the whole bunch!
McLean Bible, just a few miles down the road-I'll use them. They're a well-known church. Are there born-again people in McLean Bible Church? Of course. Could I marry one of them and meet the requirement "be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers"? Yes, you could. Would that be the smartest thing for me to do? Well, let me ask another question. How can two walk together except they be agreed? The majority of those people believe that speaking in tongues is of the devil and that if it's not of the devil, it's sure not for today. They don't believe in divine healing. I don't know what their eschatological perspective is. They don't believe in the ministry of the gifts of the Spirit. Are they believers? Yes. In some ways, because of what we know, we see that in some areas they still need enlightenment in the Scriptures. We are continually learning and growing and seeing the wisdom of God. Nobody knows it all, but what we do know is there are some pretty major differences in the way we're walking out our pursuit of God. So let me put myself now in the place of a young lady going to marry a believer from that congregation. Am I willing to submit to that? Am I willing to have him tell me now, "You will not speak in tongues. You will not practice the gifts of the Spirit." Are you ready to submit to that? How can two walk together except they be agreed?
There are a lot of other requirements. We can go into the Old Testament and see that even within inheritances-let's take a young lady who receives an inheritance and now she wants to marry a guy. We're talking about covenant; we're talking about Israel; we're talking about the 12 tribes. Did you know that you couldn't even take resources from one tribe to the next? It's all still the same church. If I'm going to marry this guy over here; here I am, a young lady; I receive an inheritance from my dad; I'm part of the tribe of Judah. Now Benjamin wants to marry me, and I go to marry Benjamin. Guess where all of my resources are staying? How can two walk together except they be agreed? They agree on the general covenant, but they don't have the same roots. You can't move the ancient landmarks. In our society today, we so easily cast off family, values, and what has been invested in our lives. We have responsibilities to one another. God has called us.
There was a good question asked the other day. We have people here that are being raised up in Discipleship Training (DT). What about when people come in from the outside and become a part of us, people who weren't raised in our DT? Are they inferior believers, inferior members in our midst here? Can they not be considered as potential life's mates? We said, "Of course they can be." But all things given, what do we look at? How many of you have seen people come in here and look like they are the most spiritual thing you ever saw, and they're gone? Have any of you ever seen that? People come in and want to be a part of us; they want to fellowship; and then they're gone. Some of have come in and stolen from us and wreaked havoc in families, and they're gone. Some of have come in, stayed, and have become among the most outstanding productive gifts in our midst.
Being raised in DT doesn't mean you're doing everything right. It doesn't even mean that you've got more character than someone who came in from the outside. We look for fruit; we look for character; we look for faithfulness. Everything else being even, though-this fits into what I was just telling you. Everything else being the same (same character in A and B, in DT and not DT), I want to step back and take one more look. With everything equal, what I do know is I know this guy's family. I see two or three generations. I see two or three generations of commitment decisions made. What is the family? What is the background? Have they come out from among them and been separate? Is there any influence, ties, et cetera, to "other than"? These are all things that have to be taken into consideration. This is a little too specific, but I want to speak toward this because of where we're going.
Like the guy that blows in here, and he's praising God and on fire and prophesying, calling fire out of heaven, walking on the pond out there, doing all kinds of stuff, nicest guy you've ever seen, fruit of the spirit. "Where'd you come from?" What are some of the big companies around here? Some big high-speed wireless company sent him in, and he's in here. Okay, he's on fire for God and all the stuff I'm saying about this hypothetical guy is true, and he's good looking, and he drives just the right cars. He is the package! He's fresh meat, and all the ladies are looking. Everything looks good. I'm looking at this guy, and there's fruit and it's obvious; you get a good witness about his spirit; the guy is a true believer; and you're looking at all this stuff. And here I am as Dad, and all the little sweet things have their tongues hanging out, are salivating, and saying, "Your will be done, Lord-him!" But I've got one question. If the opportunity for promotion moved him in, if an additional six figures moved him in, will an additional six figures move him out? Gates says, "I want you to come and head up things here in Seattle. I'll just give you umpteen zillion dollars." What about the ancient landmarks? What about the responsibility to generations that have poured into our lives? Is that cheap? "Hey, we're Americans! We are independent. We are transient." Which mind do you have? Where is your treasure? What is valuable to you, the additional six figures, all of these different things? I would ask you fathers and I'd ask you young people to evaluate what it is that you really want. What is it that's valuable to you? That will help you in making these decisions. Would it be sin for you to marry this guy and move to Seattle? It would depend on the motive of your heart. Where do you move next? When more becomes the norm of live, then when do you become disposable when more is offered? There are a lot of things that have to be looked at and proven.
As I said, just because somebody has been raised up in our midst doesn't make them eligible, does not make them what I might want for my particular child-but we know what we're getting. Does that exclude the other? Not at all, not when we know what we're getting, not when you begin to see decisions that are made. This is why you can't remain ignorant. You start asking specific questions. If somebody is in here a few months, you can't consider that. But you can consider those who have been in our midst and have proven themselves; they're part of the family; they've been here for years, and you're looking. These are all things that have been addressed. These are things that you should be addressing in Young Adults and asking them, "What would you do if [this particular thing] arose? How do you approach this? What's your perspective?" We don't just hang out; we fellowship. "I don't want to seem like I'm asking these questions because I might be interested in them as a life's mate." Are you? "Yes." Then ask the questions! Now, don't preface it with, "I'm checking you out as a potential life's mate, so answer these questions. Here, get under this spotlight. How much money would it take you to defect?" Catch the spirit of what I'm saying. You're not here by mistake.
Many of these things I'm talking about: community; building a community out of independent, specific clans-and I use that term as a biblical term meaning households, generations, from patriarchal perspective. When we talk about that, we are not talking from Old Testament absolutism into New Testament, because we all become kings and priests. We understand that a man leaves his father and mother, cleaves to his wife, and these two become one flesh. We're not talking about absolutism (the eldest male governing everybody else's lives), because in the body of Christ under the lordship of Jesus, there was a re-affecting of relationship to spiritual authority, fathers, overseers, pastors, etc. It's very clear in the Scripture how we relate to them. We'll talk about that later. For the general purpose right now, as we talk about this, it even still seems foreign to us. "What's wrong with leaving this fellowship to go take a better job in North Carolina or Seattle? What's wrong with that?" What's right with that? I ask the question based upon biblical wisdom and philosophy. From Western thought, there is nothing wrong with that. From biblical thought of removing the ancient landmarks, there is definitely something wrong with that. But we as Americans and we with this Western civilized thought think nothing of blowing off. I'll tell you what. That's why this nation is being destroyed right now. That's why we're selling all of our stuff to the Chinese and the Germans and the Japanese over these years, because all we want is a quick buck. From the secular, civil perspective you see it: personal gain. What's wrong with giving my life for the good of everybody? You see, Western thought is "for the good of me," benefit of self, individualism. The kingdom of God doesn't operate that way. If what I'm saying to you sounds foreign, doesn't sound right, then ask yourself what is in your heart and mind in abundance. Why is it so easy for you to think contrary to what seems to be a biblical pattern?
Have I read the Scripture yet? Have you found Matthew 19? As we shared these things a little bit in the Men's Breakfast-I'm just trying to bring you ladies up to date-I made a comment about why there's a difference between men and women too. I'd never thought of this. I always enjoy when the Lord just speaks something and you hear stuff just come out of your mouth that you never thought of. You go, "That's interesting." You say, "That happens to me all the time." No, I'm talking about something that makes sense. I was just sharing with the deacons, and we were talking about some of you Young Adults. We were talking about love and what love is and the feelings, and all of those things. We'll talk about feelings more as we go into this, but as I was meditating as we were even talking at this time, we were just discussing things. I was meditating back on Adam and Eve. I thought, How in the world could Adam have given up God for Eve? I'm sure you've all thought about that, right? That was a bad move! We know she was a "fox," a "babe," or whatever you call them today. When I was young (Methuselah and I), a nice looking girl was a "fox." That was before I was a Christian. After I got saved, I never looked at girls again. [Looks heavenward, pretending piety.]
We know that Adam was impressed with the way she looked because she looked like him. What is this? As I was sharing with the guys, I'm thinking, What was at the root of this thing? How many of you have ever noticed-now, the statements are general. There are always exceptions. How many of you have ever noticed that generally, men need women but women don't need men? "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair." Do you want to know why? I think I know why. I made this statement. It's not a profound one, but I made it anyway. So let's see how it works. Women have never been alone. Think about that for a minute. Our source, Adam, had no helpmeet. He had nobody. He knew what it meant to be alone, and he was about to go back to being alone again. He made the greatest error in judgment, that this woman would fulfill him. Some of you think that these relationships you're looking for will fulfill you. They won't; only God will. If you're looking for a life's mate for fulfillment, it won't do it, but it's not good for you to be alone. God knows that. He said it. But you have to have the right perspective. God has to be sufficient, and then He'll give you that which makes your life full and complete. But if you're looking for it, then you're going to make the same error that Adam did: you're going to choose self over God. It's a very dangerous place to be. As you find your fulfillment and your contentment in the Lord, it will give you the ability to look and have a good perspective on those that are around you and see the right criteria, not the lustful, egotistical, pride-motivated perspective.
Let me read the Scripture, and then we'll quit and pick it up tonight. In the nineteenth chapter, verse 3: "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" We have talked about that quite a bit. We're not going to talk about divorce right now and the different perspectives of Hillel and the others at that time, but I like what Jesus' answer is here where He says, "Have ye not read [it's always the Word; all the answers are here], that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female [Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve], And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." We're going to spend a little bit of time on that. A lot of people are married but haven't been put together by God. Getting married in a church doesn't make God the author of your union any more than just having sexual relations with someone makes you married. It's not talking about the physiology of two coming together and that automatically making them one. Marriage is ordained of God. It's by God; it's for God; it has specific purposes as to why it was instituted. Man has, like with everything else, perverted it, diluted the emphasis and purpose of it. We're going to look at what it really is, and that will help you understand how you get into it properly. The dissolving of it is what's being asked about here-"Can you just put them away for any reason?" We see in our society today how easily marriages are dissolved and people are cast off. "Irreconcilable differences." "Mutual selfishness and stubbornness" would be another way to say that; lack of preferring others, the lack of Jesus' lordship, the lack of humility, the lack of temperance, the lack of gentleness, the lack of kindness. "Let's just call it ‘irreconcilable differences.'" What God has joined together, nobody has a right to put asunder. There is no reason given for you to dissolve what God has put together if God was the source of it, if it was done in Him, by Him, for Him.
Then He gives, of course, the one cause that we'll look at, and then we'll end for this morning. "They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?" Of course, they began to interpret that in many different ways. If a man wasn't pleased with his wife, if he didn't like the breakfast she cooked that morning, "You're out of here." I want to tell you things were different then, ladies. It wasn't: you get everything, and the guy goes and sleeps in a Volkswagen. It was, in fact, just the opposite. He gave you a bill; you went back to dad; and you took nothing with you. That was women's role at the time Moses wrote this. I'm only saying that to say this. When the Scripture talks in Peter about Sarah and having a "meek and quiet spirit" and being adorned in that way, I'd just like to say something to you ladies. Do you think these women had to believe God? How many of you think their trust was in God, if one morning when you burn the bacon, he gives you a piece of paper, and you're gone? You were in that marriage just because two dads agreed to send you down there. Boy, your American mind right now is going, "I'm going to kill somebody! I'm suing! I'm picketing!" How about trusting God? How about knowing God is good? I'm not saying that's right. I'm saying that's where they lived, and they had meek and quiet spirits. They were not of their mother, Eve.
So we realize that Jesus speaking here says, "Moses [did give the writing of divorcement but it was] because of the hardness of your hearts [he allowed this]: but from the beginning it was not so." I'm going to end with this for this morning. I want you to understand the power, the authority, of this statement Jesus just made: "In the beginning, it was not so." If we're going to understand marriage and betrothal, we have to go to the beginning. We can't think from where we are, from Western thought, from everything that's been perverted. We have to go back to the beginning and ask what the original, pure purpose of God was. That's what we want to move in. "From the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." This is Jesus' statement on these particular issues. How binding, how sacred, marriage is! If we're going to enter into this covenant, then we're going to have to enter into it purely and from God's perspective and motives of two becoming one for the glory of God, for the purpose of multiplying His kingdom, propagating this gospel.
Father, we thank You this morning for Your Word. In our day, these are some things that are foreign to ears, even to some in here that have been taught for years and years. We hear these things and we seek Your wisdom to how to best see them work in our lives and in this hour. Bottom line, we're not moved by lust, style, flash, feelings. We're moved by the fruit of the spirit, the singleness of purpose, the vision that's before us. The man that's standing at my side with a spear in one hand and laying bricks with the other is after the same goal, the same glory of God. That's what makes him beautiful. That's whom I want to be priests over my children: a faithful man, a warrior for the glory of God, one that lives not for himself but for my good and the good of the community. Father, as we look at these things, make it real. Free us from our own lust, our own prejudices, our own pride, that we might fulfill Your will. Be glorified in our midst, we ask in Jesus' name, amen. Before you go, turn to somebody next to you and say, "What God has joined together, nobody puts asunder."
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