Bible Teaching

Calvary Temple Teaching Library

Two Become One Pt.5

Well, let's turn back to Genesis and allow the Lord to minister to us a little more. Let's take a look at what Father was speaking to us there. As we were looking at this morning's subject I would encourage you-somebody asked me today, "Could you go back over those points that you dealt with this morning?" I said, "I don't have a clue what they were." I've had a number of people ask me and so we can get the CDs. It sounded like something that could have been beneficial to some of us. So the CDs are there. There are some principles that it really wouldn't hurt to hear again. We'll see what we can do to approach some of these from a different area.

As we're looking at the basic principle, again, of "it's not good for man to be alone, I'll make him a helpmeet." A helpmeet is more than just a companion. We talked about loneliness and how difficult that is for the creatures that God has made us. We're social beings. We're creatures that need to be loved and need to be able to give love and show love. We're created in the image of our Father. God is, say it, love. And love gives and receives. That's what love is all about. And since that's who we're of, we're of the very source of love, God Himself, we need to be in that environment of love. We need fellowship. We need companionship. But he says that's not the only thing that Adam needed a helpmeet for or a companion for. We saw that it was someone to give him strength and ballast; someone that could be there as an advisor and a counselor to him. Someone that's there to help when he falls as we know the Scripture indicates the wisdom of two being better than one. And we see that this was the woman's role. It was to be a role that was natural, instinctive until sin entered in; and when sin entered in then Adam's helpmeet was self-indulgent, selfish, and prideful. And because of that schism between Eve and God, and that elevation of self, because-We've shared on numerous occasions the original sin, we know pride was the cause, the source of it, but the original sin was broken order. Because of that broken order of the usurping, Lucifer wanted to usurp God's role, he enticed Eve to usurp God's role, and in the process to usurp authority over her husband. That's why Paul has to deal later on in his epistles concerning a woman's role of not usurping authority, etc. Women are capable. Women are eligible for ministry in the body of Christ, but it's through appointment not usurping, not a promoting of self, not a manipulation, but an appointment. That has to do with the home as well as the community. It's not, and never can be, a taking; it's an assuming from authority. The woman never is the ultimate authority. That's broken order. That's why for us to have a-can you imagine if we had in this country the way things are going and we see women going more and more to dominance in running municipalities, homeowners, and presidents. Can you imagine having a woman President and a woman that's the Vice President Pro-Tem in Congress? They're not made for that roll. That's not what God created them to do. It doesn't have anything to do with ability. It has to do with order. It doesn't have anything to do with worth. It has to do with order. And the refusal to acknowledge that is the refusal to acknowledge Jesus' lordship and God's authority. And when Eve did that, that which was supposed to be natural, for her to love her husband and prefer her husband and promote her husband and to recognize, as Paul later goes on in the epistles, and says the man was not made for the woman, the woman was made for the man. Paul makes that very clear. Unless we're spiritual beings, unless we're pursuing God's order, that's foreign to us. We don ‘t like that in our thinking, if we're women. I'm talking from our point, ladies. We don't like that. And yet as we seek to honor God it becomes natural again. It's what we prefer. And the world, this society today, looks down on you and mocks you, but God delights in a meek and quiet spirit. God delights in the fulfilling of that roll for which you were intentionally created, helpmeet.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they two shall become one flesh." Now, after the rebellion and after the usurping and all of these things that took place, then God brings judgment upon man and upon the woman. We go over into the third chapter of Genesis and He speaks concerning the judgment of Satan and He says, "I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it [her seed, Jesus] shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. [through the crucifixion] Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children...;" (Verses 15-16). In sorrow-that's not just talking about the labor pain. It's not just talking about now a subordinate role that she being put under rather than choosing to fulfill because it's natural. It's the realization, many times, and as we were able to see one of our newest members this morning, you see these precious little lives and you realize the cruddy world they've been born into.

He speaks to Eve and He says: do you realize-now it transfers over here into the twenty first century, but can you imagine what must have at one point gone through Eve's mind when she gave birth to that first child and she holds that infant and knows he's going to be raised outside that absolute garden of tranquility that she disrupted; no longer walking with God in the cool. This baby could have walked with God in the cool of the day and now we have to contend with devils and wild beasts and thorns and sin because of a disruption of order, a usurping. And God said, "If you won't choose, I'll put you under." So he makes this judgment upon her and he says, "...in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Now these are some interesting words, of course in the Hebrew. And we've talked about them many times in the past, but here's what's natural. Ladies, here's what God intends for you. Men, here's what you should look for in a woman. We've talked about a meek and quiet spirit. We've talked about the fruit of the Spirit. We've talked about Proverbs 31. And we talked about how to know whether or not in our fellowship, and in this time we have together as we interact, and how to know whether that person that I feel is special sees me as special. Here's the way a woman that sees you as special will respond: "and your desire shall be to thy husband." Now, your not husband yet, but there's that propensity. Someone asked the question this morning, so while I'm here let me clarify this now that it just came to my mind. They said, "When you talked about creating your own life's mate, creating your spouse, if they're not married how are they under authority?" I wasn't talking about assuming authority and giving directives. I was talking about assuming leadership, setting a course. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. If you want to create your own life's mate, you want to create this spouse, you want someone to be as spiritual as you are, men-and you know what? The churches have had it backwards for years. We don't here, thank God. Now, it's not across the line, but in so many churches today the women are spiritual and trying to urge their husbands along. Men, you're the leaders. Men, you are the priests. Men, you should be the spiritual leader in your home. You should be the one setting the course. So in the midst of all of this fellowship, what I'm saying about creating your own wife, what you're doing is creating an environment. You're setting a course through leadership. When everybody says, "Hey, let's go to the movies," say, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't we go to the 11:00 o'clock movie and spend 8 to 11 witnessing? Why don't we go out and share the gospel? Why don't we spend that time sitting down and going over some of these teachings? Why don't we go over and assist this brother or sister? They have a need in their life right now. Why don't we go give of our time and minister to somebody else?" And it's always ministering to the eternal, ministering to the body; you're setting that course. And when you set the course, the lady that says, "Yeah, that's a good idea," that's the one that I now have my eye on. She's wanting to be involved in ministry. She's wanting to grow spiritually. She's wanting to serve the body of Christ. And if she's ready to serve the body of Christ, guess what, she going to be ready to serve you.

So these are the things that we're looking for. We're looking for someone that has a servant's heart, someone that's looking beyond themselves, because love is preferring the good of the other person. That's all love is. Love is preferential thought, thinking of the other person. Yesterday when we were down at the races, I had already determined to come home. I just really felt that I was supposed to be here today regardless. So I was coming home whether we won lost or whatever. And somebody said, "Well, the fact that you guys lost first round should have made it easy to go home." I said, "No, that makes it worse. I like leaving a winner. I like to choose to leave, not be run off." But nonetheless we've already had such a good beginning. I've gone so many rounds this year that to want more is greedy, and I am; but I've had a good year. I've gone a lot of rounds. I've already been to one final. I could have won it. Lost by a thousandth of a second. I've been to quarterfinals, just gone a lot of rounds. And so I went earlier in the dragster and I lost. So I went back to the trailer, jumped out of the dragster and ran across this whole complex to get to the fence so that I could watch Greer run, because she's had a couple of bad breaks with the car and just a couple of things. I just thought, I hate losing, but I just wanted her to get a round under her belt so badly. I didn't really care if I won. I just wanted to see her win the round. That's what you want for people that you care about. It's not about the preference. Probably my love and my faith would be tested if it was like the final round of the US Nationals and it was between the two of us. I probably wouldn't put any fuel in her car. [laughter] Because I know she would want it that way, so I'd just be preferring her. [laughter] We can rationalize, can't we? But you prefer that other person. You want to see the best for them and what it is that makes them happy. You want them to be happy and to enjoy life. God gives us freely all things to enjoy and we want that enjoyment, and that was the original intention.

It says that her desire should be toward her husband. That word "desire" means to delight in, to covet, or to run toward. You see, as you're pursuing God and you're looking, who is this woman that really is interested in me? Who is it that's running toward you? Who is it that's delighting in you? Bragging, you know talking among all of the different people and things are going on and you see what they do as special. They're just special to you. It's a working of God's grace and His love in you and it's the direction, the drawing of the Spirit that causes you to respond that way. Many times other people won't see it. You never saw it before. You grew up with that person, some of you. Others may not have grown up with them but you've been around each other for 15 years and all of the sudden because now you're trusting God to bring that into your life, all of the sudden you're seeing things differently. You say, "I never saw that before." The reason is because I was never open to that before. I chose my own will. I chose my own understanding, my own-as we talked about-worldly perceptions to dominate, and now I'm free to see. And there's a delight. So men, when you see that kind of a response you're setting a course and there's a delighting in, there's a running toward, then you can realize that this is someone that is reciprocating. It's not just a general acceptance, sisterly, brotherly love the phileo that does prefer and does edify, but there's this special delight and involvement and attraction toward. I talked about it a couple of sessions ago, that's the bumping into one another. Everywhere you look they're there. We can find ways to be there, man!

So those are some of the things that we realize God created the relationship to be. What I'm saying is: ladies, there's nothing wrong with you letting it be known who you might be interested in or preferring through actions, again, not words. Now, I thought one of the solutions could be having a Sadie Hawkins day. [laughter] How many of you remember from Li'l Abner's cartoon? Anybody know who Li'l Abner is? Okay. How many of you know what Sadie Hawkins day is? Okay. How many of you never heard of Sadie Hawkins day? In the cartoon strip, "Li'l Abner" the old yokels from the hills, one day a year was Sadie Hawkins day and the ladies could chase down any guy they wanted and if they caught them, they had to marry them. Of course, I grew up for years watching Daisy Mae chasing Li'l Abner. I think she caught him eventually, or something, didn't she? Anyway, I think they got together. This is something that might work. The world, of course, has women being assertive, assuming the same role. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about reciprocation. I'm talking about seeing a course being set, recognizing-ladies, you have radar, you know what's going on. Guys are stupid. You ladies are sensitive to things.

We were just in the back. I was trying to help Jeff out as not only a pastor but as a father-in-law. Kimberly said, "At the reception this happened and you were standing right there." And Jeff's going like.... [laughter] She said, "I said something to you." And Jimmy told him-Jimmy was back there. We were discussing a certain situation. Jimmy says, "When this happens to me..." Jimmy showed him. He reached down and got this mint.... [laughter] You know there are many ways to do it. One of my ways.... [laughter] We don't have a clue what you're talking about. "Well, you know when they said this and they looked that way and their hair was blowing that way," and we were looking at the cake. [laughter] Or, on a day like that, Jeff is not at the party; he's kayaking in his head. So, anyway, where was I?

And their delight will be in their husband and unto Adam he said, "Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it:..." [you're going to be cursed. You're going to live by the sweat of your brow.] What a consequence of that broken fellowship with God. God being now the full-you know, up until that moment God supplied everything, and now he has to provide for himself and for his family in his own strength. You want to live by your own strength? "You want to do it your way," God said. That's the curse. I'll give you your will. When it comes to relations, you want to do it your way? God will give you what you want. And so many times because we despise God's methods and God's provision, He'll give you quail until it comes out your nostrils. It will become gravel in our mouth, the Scripture says.

And so as we step back from all the world's seduction and all of our natural tendencies that came from the fall, the broken order, the lust aspect that so dominates the male, the manipulative spirit that's in woman that now causes her to make whatever decisions and use whatever methods necessary to bring about a security to herself, because by her own hand she had disrupted supernatural security. It's a hard thing to be your own god. Eve, wanting to be dominant, was now set into a role of subordination. Your role, men, is to be the head, the dominant force in these relationships. We see in Ephesians that dominance is not disrespect. It's not cruelty. It's not violence. It's not a selfishness. It's a representation of the authority of God. "Adam, because you failed to represent Me, because you loved yourself more than Me"-remember, we talked in the beginning of this teaching. The thing that I believe caused Adam to fall was he didn't want to be lonely. He didn't want to be alone again. And some of you make decisions with your families right now and your wives, you're afraid to be alone. Well I want to tell you something. Don't sell God out like your father Adam did. Stand up and take authority, and if your wife happens to want to defect, then they defect. If they're going to desert on God then they're going to desert. God said, "I'll never leave you nor forsake you."

Now, most of you have wives that want to do the will of God, but I'm talking about principles, and I'm talking about looking for a wife. If I'm a single man here in the midst, who am I looking for? I'm looking for someone who has been trained to be under. Fathers, mothers, if you're not training you daughters to be under, you're trying to teach them to be independent and self-sufficient-there's nothing wrong with that until, what? Until covenant, until marriage. Well how do you turn that off? If I've been independent and self-sufficient how do I turn that off? Simple! It's supernatural, because that's not what you're to be, naturally. God created you to be in this other role, so what you do once you're ready to sign that contract, some of you ladies who have been independent and self-sufficient for many years, how can I now have a husband. It will come so naturally; it's God's purpose. Now, of course, He enables you and by grace gave you the ability to provide for yourself and to make decisions, but that's just because God loves you and provided for you and was a husband to you until you move into this other role. Don't be afraid of it. It will come natural to you. When I say natural, I'm talking about not natural physically, I'm talking about natural spiritually. It will be the delight of your heart. It will take some adjustment, even in the small things. People who have not been independent all that long, when two come together; we've had different ways of doing things and we talked about some of the humorous things that are just preferences that you don't make an issue out of. You sure don't fight over it. We've talked about in the past whether the toilet paper comes over the top or underneath. We all know it comes over the top [laughter] and anything else is Ichabod. [laughter] It could actually be sin for it to come underneath probably. I think I could find Scripture in here, if you give me time.

But in the weighty matters, God created us for these roles and whether we've been newly introduced to it or whether-some of you that have been single for a long time, don't be afraid, God will work it in you. God will make it happen because it was His original intention for you. And it's done by choice. It's done by choice. And it's not a difficult thing because once God injects His will, His love in you, your delight will be for your husband.

Coveting, that word "covet" is very interesting. It's a strong term, but it means you're longing for anything that pleases him. We kind of laugh and mock the idealism of the ‘50's, which we all know still, was corrupt and vile in the humanistic perspective. There was a movie put out called "Pleasantville." That was kind of interesting. It's basically mocking that idealistic perspective of the man coming home. It's kind of interesting because the guy would come home every night and, of course, his favorite dinner was ready. And as he walked in the house he would kind of flip his hat and it would always land on the hook. Everything was just perfectly in order. We look at those things and we kind of laugh, but you know, a wife's thought processes should be constantly, "What makes my husband happy. What does he like? I wonder is there anything that, at this point, there's a need? What is it that he could use at this moment?" Like when he's lying in there on the sofa and his stomach is hanging out from under the t-shirt and he's watching the ballgame. He shouldn't have to yell, "Honey, could you bring me some more iced tea?" You ought to have it there. You ought to say, "Here sweet thing." And you shouldn't be thinking, "I'm going to pour this thing on him!" This is like your third football game and.... We'll get to the men later. We'll get him off the couch, don't worry about it. I'm talking about you right now. I'm talking about your delight being in.... I'm talking about coveting the best for your husband. I'm talking about running toward them, and being there to fulfill their lives which should be setting the spiritual course for your life. Amen? It's not helping him fulfill all of his lusts. It's helping him fulfill his pursuit of the kingdom of God, of seeking first the kingdom of God. And in that pursuit of seeking the kingdom of God is a sofa. And all the men said? And a large screen TV. And the NFL ticket. Those are all parts of getting to heaven, of the well-rounded Christian life. [laughter]

So, we realize that delight is to be there, so men you're looking for these women. Some of us are looking for the damsel in distress. I don't want the damsel in distress. She can't help me change the tire. This damsel in distress isn't going to be able to help me up when I fall. I want one of them ladies that can pick me up when I fall down. Kind of like a Lithuanian shot putter. I'm talking about in spirit, without the mustache and beard. Inner character, we're looking for strength, a woman that's strong, a woman that is capable. These are women that when those character traits are put into proper order of subordination, they're very helpful to you. Those are things-men, don't be afraid of strong women. They can be a great help. Some of you ladies that are very fragile need to toughen up a little bit. Now we know you're more emotional and you're tender and that's what we like about you. Some guys don't understand that about their wives and that's why there's such conflict. "Why don't you just be more like a man?" That's against the rules. [laughter] We need that feminine perspective. We need the emotional responses so that we can look and say, "Okay, I see that now. That's not my first response but I see what you're saying, I think. Now I see it. I don't understand it, but I believe I see it." And we begin to allow that that was taken out of us to be put back. Femininity is not being fragile. Femininity is many of those aspects of tenderness, a caring, an emotional input and perspective. They talk about women's sixth sense or whatever, that instinctiveness, an intuitiveness. Much of that comes from being very observant. They are aware of their environment. So, we want to hear that and listen. We want that input of all those things that we didn't see when we were looking at the cake. Ladies bring us a lot of information and we're just looking at the cake. So finally we go, what? I'm getting a little off course, but our natural response is: "That's ridiculous. If they'll do this, this, this and this it will fix it now. Took care of that." And men, let me tell you something. That's not going to fix it. You know what that's going to do? It's going to frustrate your wife. Now, that will eventually fix it but you're going to have to put your time in. You're going to have to at least endure 10-12 thousand words [assumes the Jack Benny stance]. [laughter] "Okay, now do that and that will fix it." You have to listen too. Don't just put the time in. Ladies, you need to do like Hope. You can get away with it some with mature women but with kids it's tough. I told you I tried to use the gift on Hope. She was talking-she has three times women's gift of words. That kid-whew! She sees everything and embellishes it. She adds to it. She'll come up and, "Grandpa," and she'll start talking. You know, you're really trying. It's like.... [laughter] and pretty soon your [sound effect meaning your mind is somewhere else]. And she'll reach up and grab my face and turn it right to her and go like this. [laughter] And so, ladies, when you see your husbands going out, just grab their face and go, "I'm not through yet." [laughter] You know what would really help, if there was like a word meter so you could know how many were left so we could go, "Okay, I can take a few more." [laughter] See the thing that kills us is we don't when this is going to stop. If we had an idea, I think it would be better. [laughter]

Anyway, we're different, aren't we? So, as we're looking for this life's mate and we have the same goal to get to heaven, we have the same goal to prefer others and edify them, to serve the body of Christ, to fulfill our role. You know, one of the biggest aspects of this is that it's not just about you being happy. It's about us fulfilling God's purpose for our lives. God created you, men, to be heads of homes, to raise up a godly seed. Ladies, for you to be a helpmeet, to be able to prop your husband up, delight in them, make them better men. Now, you know ladies that becomes perverted in the secular. "Well, I'll just marry anybody and I'll make a good man out of him." You don't have that ability. Now, we know that all of you ladies think that you can improve us, and you can. We need your help. But you can't make us into your image. You can't make us into your fairy tale. And you may be daddy's little princess, but you're not the world's little princess. What am I saying? You aren't all that special even though you've been told that all your life. You're just another one of the group. So, as we're serving and fulfilling the call and our role, and you're making and helping that man become a better man, more Christlike-not as Eve, trying to fulfill her will, not as some of these cutthroat women in the secular doing anything they can to promote their husbands, but we're promoting the kingdom of God. We're promoting holiness and godliness. We're promoting divine order. Greer had somebody trying to give her a hard time, one of those telemarketers. When she said, "I'll have to talk to my husband," "You don't have to talk to your husband!" And I don't have to talk to you! In fact, come here, stick your head out of that phone, I want to talk to you for a minute. The world just doesn't see it. They see it as weakness. They see it as demeaning. God sees it as glory, because it's the fulfilling of His order. So ladies, we're not talking about weakness. We're talking about being strong. We're talking about letting God's gifts be perfected in you. We're talking about that ability to assume God's grace and to function in that role and subordinate yourselves.

Let's turn over to Ephesians for just a second. I've gotten a little bit off of where I wanted to go, but we'll just see what happens. Into Ephesians when we see the-we're talking about what we're looking for in a good helpmeet. Especially, I'm talking to you guys, because we're setting course, as you're pursuing with all of your heart. We talked about not just going up and assaulting all of these single ladies. Kind of like mass mailings, sending something like 100 invitations hoping somebody will respond. God has someone for you. Cool it. Relax. God will bring them to you as we saw in Genesis. But the first question we have to ask ourselves is not where is that perfect image? Where's that woman of my dreams? The first question you have to ask is: what makes me capable at this point in my life? Am I ready to assume spiritual oversight for another life? Am I ready to assume the responsibility of being the priest of a household, two becoming one? A man (that's mankind) forsakes father and mother, cleaves to their wives and these two become one flesh. What in my pursuit, what in my character, what in my preferring and seeking the kingdom of God first, what fruit is there that shows that I'm ready for this? Now, you know there's the natural perspective and there's a spiritual perspective. Natural maturity is based upon experience. It's based upon, many times, longevity, which contributes, of course, to experience; just sheer years and miles traveled. Many times as parents we're sitting there and our young people are interested in somebody, their interested in getting married and we're going, "Man, their just so immature." Are they less mature than you? You're 40. They're 20. Guess what? They should be what? Less mature. Are they less mature than you or are they less mature than all other 20-year-olds? How about another question? Are they less mature than you were at that age? Now remember, we're talking about natural and spiritual. How spiritually mature were you at 20, 25, or 30? You see, we have that tendency, and I made that comment the other night. When our children are young we seem to think that they're older than they are and treat them and expect them to act older than they are, and when they get older we treat them younger than they are. There are reasons for that and we'll probably speak to it as we go further and things that contribute to that, but it is a natural tendency. We've been talking about some of the more mature folks and that's been the emphasis and that's primarily the emphasis on the teaching, but we do have some younger folks, too, that are in their twenties, in college, just graduating college, been out of college for a few years and whatever, and you're still there. Some of you have asked that question. Am I mature enough? I'm kind of afraid to ask somebody to marry me because it seems like I just learned yesterday to come in out of the rain. I can't match my socks. You hear that and we all kind of look back and-was anybody here, how many of you here were under 25 when you got married? Hold your hands up. How many of you were older than 25? If you looked at the cross section, it's interesting, you would see that the under, the majority of them were older. And the over, the majority, of them were kind of like the young people in their older forties.

Did I say young people? Yes, I did. And this trend that we've been talking about and we say what is this trend. I'm not saying that there's an age. But somewhere-there was something I was just looking at the other day, again, I can't remember what it was that had to do with Pearl Harbor, that generation, my dad and those guys. My dad lied about his age to go into the military. I think he was 16 when he went to war. He was the youngest guy on his ship. I was reading one of the letters from one of his shipmates the other day and it was interesting. Dad got this letter when he was 72 and the guy that was writing it was still referring to him as "the kid" because he was known as "the kid" on the ship. I can't remember everything in the letter right now, and the battle doesn't come to mind, but he was writing to him and he said, "I remember we were pinned down and you guys went by in one of the gun boats." He said, "All I know is that after you guys made that last pass we were no longer being fired on." Something about you guys saved our lives etc., etc, and we're thankful for what they had done. I'm thinking on this and I'm going, "He's a kid, man, he's 17 years old!" And I start thinking about where I was at 17. At 17 my biggest concern was whether I could get enough gas to go cruising, whether we were going to win the football game that night. He was off fighting a war. So, he's looking at me now and I'm going, "Hey man, life's tough. We have a football game and we have to go cruising afterwards and I barely have enough money to get some pizza. Life's tough." And he's going, "You don't have a clue what life's about." Three years later I was married. And you know what? I didn't have a clue what life was about. But I loved Jesus. I'd been born again. God was ordering my steps. I wanted to do the will of God. I was content in the godliness. I was sharing with you and we have this-and I don't know why I'm off on this section right now but we'll talk since we're here. Can we talk? So much of the thought process is, when I get ready, like when I graduate from college and I have $100,000 in savings and my home is paid for and I just want to be ready. You may have all those things and you aren't ready. You're not ready. It doesn't have anything to do with that kind of stuff. Many of you that are a little bit older and you got married you didn't have anything. It's not about all the stuff.

We all have our different stories and you've heard mine so many times. I just had to laugh as I was thinking back, the different honeymoons that we've seen here. We're going on our honeymoon. Oh, where you going? Oh, we're going to Cancun. We're going to the Bahamas. We're going to whatever. And I'm thinking back about, as a young man, our honeymoon. Janet worked for a preacher, a legalistic preacher. How many of you know that sometimes Pentecostals can become legalistic? We got married on Friday; he expected her back in the office on Monday. So, we went on our honeymoon, I've shared with you. We didn't have any money. We had two GTOs but we didn't have any money. So we go on our honeymoon. My grandmother lent me her house over in Monterey. We went and stayed at grandma's house. The next day we went to cruise Carmel. Saturday night I took her to meet Thor, my football coach. We watched a football game. We woke up in the morning and went to church. You don't miss church, man. Now, we're talking about maturity. If you ask me today would I miss church...I'd leave that up to you, your conscience. We went to church, after church we fellowshipped a little bit. Came home. My cousin had just gotten married. He and his brand new wife came by and they take up our last 30 minutes of our honeymoon, before we had to leave to get back to Fresno, showing us their wedding pictures. We went home to the apartment that I described to you. Kitchen table, pressboard, no Formica on it, just the pressboard with galvanized water pipes screwed into it. But they didn't have the couplings. You should have had couplings. We couldn't afford couplings. They were just screwed into the pressboard, which after about a week it was like eating-it was like a cruise because the table was like.... Springs were coming through the sofa, literally. We had to put a quilt over that because otherwise it would rip your pants off. You had the bed. You all know the bed. When you first get married, the bed. It looks like that. It was the bed that everybody else in your family that got married for all those years used when they first got married and it got handed down. You slept like this hanging on to the edge because if you turned over you're down laying in this thing. You all know the bed. My favorite story, of course, I've told many times but I can't pass it up. I love that chest of drawers we had. I still remember that top drawer. You grab the knobs, wood knob, and you went like that. The drawer didn't come out, the front just came off. You'd reach in and look for your socks. Now that I was married, they matched. That's cool. Put your drawer back.

You don't need stuff. You need to let God move in your life and be in the will of God. Pursue the kingdom and seek the kingdom of God first, and be in love with the person that God has put into your life, and seek to prefer them. In every way make them happy in life and join together and fulfill God's purpose. That's what this thing is all about. It's not about stuff. It's not about image. None of that stuff is going to make you happy. Women you know, the natural tendency to be secure and the man to live by the sweat of his brow, and to be the provider and the hunter and the gatherer and the protector and all of those kind of things. And women wanting security and having the home and the nest and not wanting to have this place that they can't identify with as being-much of that's been lost in our society over these last couple of decades, but it's about a journey. It's about two people joining together and saying we're going to be the most we can be for God. I wonder where this thing is going to take us? What we do know is He's gone before us to make a way where there is no way. His glory is our rear guard and every place we put our feet He's going to give it to us, and every place we put our hand it's going to prosper. Praise God! Exciting. So as we finish for this evening, what are the roles? We've seen that role of what you should be looking for in a woman, Proverbs 31. I'm not going to get off on it right now but, I've heard-no I'm not going to go there tonight.

Father, we thank You for Your Word and we just ask that You would continue to speak to us. It's not good for man to be alone and so You gave him a helpmeet. That helpmeet's delight is to be in her man. We've seen that that's a choice to be in the order of God. It's not a natural innate thing because of sin. It was innate. It was created, Father, we know in our mother Eve, but she lost it in sin. Now You put the requirements, this is your role. This is what you will do if you're My child. If you accept My grace, if you seek first the kingdom, these things will be restored back in you. This is your role. You're not the usurper. You're not the controller. You're not the one that's going to manipulate things your way. You're going to assist your husband. You're going to delight in him. You're going to boast in him. He's going to be your hero. He's going to be your lover. He's going to be your comforter. When that role is assumed, Father, in the heart of a woman, we know that they're ready for a man, that they can assist, that they can make better for Your glory. We're not whole without them, Father. We understand that, and we need this, and we're seeking that. Help us to address the selfishness aspect so that those can be set aside, Father; all of those things within man that are so self-indulgent. And to see that what we think we want and have to take is Your gift to us. It's what You want us to have if we'll empty our lives out and stop being so selfish, and look to be able to pour ourselves into a woman that we can love as our own bodies, and seek to wash with the water of the Word, and help them to become more Christlike. To appreciate their running toward us and delighting in us and not take it for granted, and not say, "That's what you will do;" but just stand in awe and say, "How could God work in a woman's life to respond that way and to fulfill that role and especially toward me." Thank you, Father, for this gift that You've given me. He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. I don't deserve this. This lady is a gift to me. Thank You, Father. Not mine, Yours. This is Your daughter. I'm a steward here. Help me to honor You, and help me to represent You, and help me to speak only Your Word and to delight in You and Your ways and not my own. Father, as we both seek to out give, and as we both seek to fulfill our roles, it's impossible that two cannot walk together that are fulfilling those principles. It's all of these preconceived, selfish, predetermined requirements that we've introduced that caused the confusion, the fear. Help us to walk free from them, Father, to see the general plan. It's not good for man to be alone. I will give him a helpmeet. We thank you for that in Jesus' name. Amen.

Let's stand before the Lord. The different experiences in our lives, the things that God does, it's very real, this life of faith, the miraculous. "Can God really supernaturally cause me to love somebody?" He caused you to love Him when you used to hate Him. Amen? He caused many of you to love me. That's tough. Yes, He can when we're seeking His glory. Please, please don't see this as a secondary, cheap love because it doesn't have it's origin in eros. "Well, how long does it take?" Not very long. Often it's almost instantaneous with the decision to be obedient. As Isaac takes this young lady that he just met and he loved her. Jacob waited 14 years for the one he loved and it seemed like just a few days because of the love that he had for her. Which love was the greatest? There's no distinction between the two. They were both in the will of God. Order our steps, Father, and be glorified we ask in Jesus' name.

As Gary plays for us, we'll take just a moment and allow the Lord to speak to your heart. Young people, don't be afraid of what's ahead because, "I don't know if I'm ready." If Jesus is your Lord, I can do all things through Christ. Some of you fathers are going, "Oh, lord, don't release some of these nitwits that I have to deal with them and tell them no." Well, if you're going to tell them no, you'd better have a good biblical reason. Not because I don't like the way you dress. We don't like the way most of them dress. You didn't go the right college. You don't hold your finger out when you drink tea. What are the biblical reasons? Show them why they're not pursuing God. Well, I just don't think they're ready to assume the oversight of my daughter. Nobody will ever be ready to assume the oversight of your daughter. But when you see it as the will of God-my little girl. As you watch things change it's an interesting thing. I can still remember as the Lord was directing Kim and Jeff together, and she's daddy's girl. She's my baby. She's my little girl. Now I know there's nobody as good as Jeff to come but let's cast that out for just a second. You realize, "I've trained them properly." She's ready. Her mother was a great example. She's ready. And you give them over and you know they're always your little girl. And then you watch the evolution. I've watched her become a Heglund and not a Scott. I'm talking about even phrases she uses, decisions she makes, actions. I sit back as dad and I look at that and I go, "Praise God that's what she was raise for. That's exciting." Oh, any of you that deal with her know that there's still a little Scott left in there, but she's a Heglund. But she's still my baby. She's still daddy's little girl. These two become one. They start their own union and now you can step back and go, "What a privilege of contributing into their lives." There wasn't one thing natural that Jeff was headed toward that was a consideration. "Well, he's going on to be an engineer." None of that was-he wasn't headed to ministry when they were going to get married. He was going to be an engineer. It was all about spiritual character, a pursuit of God. It didn't have anything else to do with anything. I could have looked at him and said, "Well, maybe at least Kimberly will get him to match." She hasn't been able to, but you don't feed all that stuff in. You let God do it. You say, "Look at the pursuit, the character, the commonness of godliness is there and we've done what God called us to do," and it's a rest. It's a fearful thing I know as dad to make some of these determinations. Trust God. Don't trust yourself. Prefer the kingdom. Don't prefer your life's dream of what it would be. You'll be disappointed. Most of the time your little fairy tales and life's dreams don't always work out. How strongly are you going to hold onto what's been fabricated and potentially miss the dynamics of the leading of the Holy Spirit? I think that some of you more mature, that's why many of you still are unsure, because you dreams, your expectations have become reality, a self-imposed reality. If you can just step back and go, "God's smarter than I am. I'm going to let Him have His way in my life. I'm going to let Him do it His way." You'll see some good things happen.

Let's sing this together and let Father speak to each of your lives. "Lord, You are." Oh, hallelujah! Hallelujah! Father, just continue to work that delight in our hearts for You. Those among us that You've gifted and allowed to remain single for Your glory and service to the body, help them to realize, Father, that's a high calling. It's a special place. It's not inferior. To the majority, that you have someone for their lives, Father, and our delight is to have You bring them to us, Father. Not that we would have to be out on the prowl, the hunt, but as we're seeking You with all of our hearts, we're just running into people that are also headed in that direction and we just hook up and continue to pursue because two are better than one. Make it real, Father, we ask in Jesus' name. Amen. Turn to somebody next to you and say, "Two are better than one." Amen. Go in peace. God's love go with you.

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