Bible Teaching

Calvary Temple Teaching Library

Two Become One Pt.8

I want to remind you to continue to pray. We are hearing from Tony about great things going on in Africa. We will have some more details for you. Maybe we will be able to read some in the service this evening. There's a great revival taking place. He said the Umoja church is probably the healthiest it has ever been. Some great moves are going on there. Rob is doing very well at this time, and the ministry is growing. In Eldoret, I think he said in the last service they had 26 or 30 first-time visitors that had come out from the meetings they were holding.

He said they put the new vehicle to the first test. He said they were out in the bush holding some meetings and that there was no way they could have ever gotten to these places, some of these churches. He said they went right through with all of the sound equipment. One of the men in the area made a statement that touched their hearts. He said, "No one has ever bothered to place an altar here before." That's an interesting statement. Sadly, today, much of what is missions is just going to the big cities. Some of these people, believe it or not, have still never seen a white man in person. We are going into places that nobody goes, and God is moving.

Some great things are taking place. We are at the place right now where we are holding some people at bay that want to become a part. Right at this moment over there we have fifteen churches that are family, that have been officially ordained and are part of the ministry now. We have fifteen churches that are family. About six others are champing at the bit. Constantly, people want to join us. They see what is going on, and they can't believe there is a ministry caring for families and providing for their children. The children there are just pretty much cast off to do what they want to do. Either that or they are sent away to some type of a school. We are emphasizing the family unit and the care one for another. Father is doing a great work there. Continue to pray. Exciting things are taking place.

Let's turn to the book of Ephesians. We want to pick up where we were in our study as we are looking at God's declaration that it is not good for man to be alone. We see in our society today marriage and divorce, marriage and divorce, people married two or three different times. It's pretty much the norm in our society. Tragically, the percentage is not much less in professed Christendom. We are looking at the biblical statement that God made: "It is not good that the man should be alone" (Genesis 2:18). "What God has joined together [finish it with me] let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6). That goes for you!

We are talking about the sobriety of making preparation to take a life's mate, because many of you young people are looking at that process. You are looking at prospective life's mates, and the old wedding vow said it is not to be entered into "unadvisedly or lightly, but soberly, discreetly." Those were some very good words that were picked out for that typical ceremony and exchanging of vows. As we are looking at this, I want to admonish you. Be sober! Be serious about this. This isn't something that we do because it's a fad. We don't get married because our best buddy just got married. We don't get married because we are just about over the hill or over the hill and really picking up speed. We need to stop and ask in a spirit of sobriety, Is this God's will for me? The answer to that for the majority of us is yes. It is not good for man to be alone.

We are living in such an independent society. I won't go back all of those weeks to where we started looking at the origin of Western civilization. We are so engrained with Western thought, which originated primarily back with the Greek philosophers. It isn't the way people have always thought. The way you think is not the way people have always thought. What you see as right, as wisdom, as rational, is not the way people have always thought. Now, think about that! It's how we have been engrained. We are brainwashed. Place upon that the current thought processes that began in the Victorian Era, and then add to that the juvenile position that we are in as Americans (barely two hundred years old). Let me remind you that everyone who ever lived was not an American and doesn't think the way you think.

Now, as Americans, we know that the way we think is correct; what we perceive as truth is right. As Christians, we have trouble going back and renewing our minds. The Bible says, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Jesus wasn't an American. Jesus was never under the influence of Western civilization-the man, Jesus. The divine Son knows all things and is infinite. He is eternal; He is omnipresent; He is omniscient, so He knows. The wisdom that we have received in the Word of God is not Eastern or Western; it's eternal. It's the wisdom of God. It is truth. "Thy word is [say it] truth" (John 17:17).

We cannot be influenced by our society, by our current twenty-first-century American adaptation of certain Western civilization thought processes. We are not secular humanists. We are not existentialists. We are Christians. So, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." We go back to the simplicity of the Word of God. We go back to God's original declaration for man: "It is not good that the man should be alone."

We saw that God made a helpmeet for man. He put Adam into the deep sleep and pulled out of his side woman, the negative. The Hebrew word is neged. So woman is the negative of man, the same image from a different perspective. We read in Paul's writing that the woman was made for the man, not the man for the woman. That goes contrary to our society today. It goes contrary to Western thought, not necessarily to Eastern thought in many ways, but Western thought.

We have to go back and arrive at what each role is responsible to fulfill as we relate to one another. We saw that the woman was made for the man, made to be the helpmeet, as we studied that out in the book of Genesis. We saw that the word "helpmeet" means "one that stands at the side, one that lends assistance and ballast, balance, stability." Ladies, your role is to prop up your husband, to bring stability. We saw also in that Genesis passage that your delight is to be toward your husband. In other words, ladies, the reason you exist is for your husband. Natural women will go berserk if they hear that. Your feminists would completely lose it if they heard that. Ladies, the reason you exist is for the man. And all the men said [amen]. Let's get our roles correct. Your delight is to be in your husband. Your reason for living is to please him, to help him, to make him a success, to help him pursue and to become more Christlike. That's your role, ladies. There is no other reason for you to exist. That is your primary function, not to stroll the malls, take the kids to the soccer game, or hang out with your friends. Your delight is to be in your husband. And all the ladies said [amen]. That's why you exist. That's who you are. We are talking about thinking biblically. We will see the function of the man as we go into Ephesians later.

The man's role is to lay down his life for his wife, to love her as Christ loved the church, to wash her with the water of the Word, to bring her to sanctification that he might present her. She, fulfilling her role, causes you to be prepared as the bride of Christ, to be presented to Him holy, unblameable, unreprovable, without spot or wrinkle. We exist to complement one another to holiness and Christlikeness, to finish this race, and to raise up a godly seed, another generation that heralds this gospel. That's why we live. That's our only reason for being here. It's not to get bigger homes, get better educations, or to lay up for another generation in the material realm. It is to build the kingdom of God.

When we are looking for a life's mate, we are not looking for what the world is looking for. We are not looking for guys driving Mercedeses. We are not looking for tall, dark, and handsome. We are not looking for the hottest "babe" or "fox" on the block. We are not buying into Hollywood's image of beauty, of sensuality, of romantic love. We are looking at who is best equipped to become a life's mate, who will help us finish this race, be the best husband, best wife, best parent to raise up a godly seed. Who is best equipped for that?

We will finish the review here in just a moment. I shared with you young men that the thing you ought to be doing is "building your own." Fellowship with your sisters in the Lord. As you are hanging out, what you are looking for is Christlikeness. You are looking for the fruit of the spirit in their lives. Ladies, you are looking not for tall, dark, and handsome, but for men of integrity, men of faithfulness, men of character, men that are pursuing God with all of their hearts. So what if they have an overbite, don't have enough hair, or have a little paunch. It's not about these bodies; it's about the ones that will be forever in heaven. I hope I didn't describe anybody here, although there is a good chance.

We are not looking the way the world looks. We kind of pat ourselves on the back that the world doesn't have any influence on us-"I'm holy, and I'm sanctified. I've come out from the world, and I'm separate." Meanwhile, we think just like them, and we are looking for just what they're looking for. We think that we are different. We think that we think differently. I am trying to get us to understand that we are more under the influence of the world than we think we are. Just admit it! Then say, "I don't want that. That's not what will bring eternal value to my life, to my children, or to the kingdom of God." But, no, we have to think the way the world does. You need to take the wisdom of some of those great philosophers who wrote those great song lyrics-"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, don't take a pretty woman to be your wife." Check that one out, those of you that never heard it before. "I saw your wife the other day. She sure is ugly." The guy says, "Yeah, but she can cook!" There are things that are important in life. "Sing, woman!"

What are you looking for, really? As we have looked at this view, we are trying to come to grips with our hearts. How do I find my life's mate? Every one of us should be seeking the godliest person among us, and every one of us should be seeking to become the godliest person among us. As we have been looking at the concept of the body of Christ over and over in Ephesians, Chapter 4-go ahead and turn there. Ephesians talks about the oneness of the body of Christ: "endeavoring to keep the unity"; the need to grow up into Christ (in verse 15 of the fourth chapter); being knit together and "compacted by that which every joint supplies"; and that the body might make increase of itself in love. What we are doing is mutually working together to make increase of the body, to make every one of us better. My reason for hanging out isn't to go spouse hunting; it's to build up the body of Christ. What is your motive? Check your motives. Make your motives right. You young people, as you hang out, are not hunting a spouse. You are looking to build up the body of Christ-"What can I do to contribute to their lives, to make the community stronger?"

Now, in the midst of this, you will get attracted to someone. You will be attracted to the Jesus in them. They will be attracted to the Jesus in you. There will be certain things on the periphery that you enjoy. Then you will have someone that becomes a delight to you, someone that's special, someone that you would like to spend the rest of your life with. You present them the opportunity to cut the covenant with you, for the two to become one. There are not predestined soul mates-"I just want to make sure I get the one." There isn't just one. Do you want to know who "the one" is? The one you pick, the one you love with all your heart, the one that for the rest of your life you try to outgive. That's the one. That is how this thing works. Now, that's not what Hollywood says, and that's not what the Western thought process says. How are you thinking this morning? We have seen in the Scriptures that primarily, all of those marriages under the Old Covenant (and under the biblical precedent, even up through the New Covenant) were arranged by the fathers, and two people were put together.

Paul puts one requirement: "Be not unequally yoked together [say it] with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14). That is the requirement. Then we said that further, wisdom is to look among those that have the same faith, the same call, the same vision, the same commitments, the same roots, and the same upbringing. You remember that even though all were of Israel, certain inheritances couldn't transfer from one tribe to another. Tribes are important. Don't blow off your tribe here; God doesn't. You have been raised up here. Certain things that have been sown into you here are to stay here. You can't take the inheritance to that other tribe; that's not really your call. As you meditate on these things, things have been invested into you. People have loved you. People have contributed to you. So we give back and continue to build. It's for the community, not for ourselves. It's not selfishness. In the midst of all that, we have been trying to identify how to find that person. The answer is by not looking, by going out and wanting to minister to the whole and letting God open your eyes to whom that person might be, not being led by your little preconceived list.

There's an interesting phrase that I like in the Song of Solomon. Turn over to the Song of Solomon for just a moment. That is a weird book. You have to be careful with the symbolism in it because you can make it say a lot of things that it may not be saying. It has a lot to say about love. It makes a lot of statements about biblical sensuality. It makes references to beauty and what was attractive to this particular person. You can tell that these people were not from West Virginia, because it says in Chapter 4, verse 2, "Your teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn." In other words, they have all their teeth. I shouldn't talk like that; we are right on the border of those folks over there.

He makes references to the physicality, which we're all aware of. But the phrase that I want you to see is in Chapter 5, verse 1. I want you to get this phrase in your mind for just a moment. I'm not going to spend a lot of time here in Song of Solomon, but listen to this one phrase. "I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse." I just want you to think about that. You can read back through the rest of this later. We need to learn how to relate to our sisters in the Lord. Do you want to know whom you will marry? You will marry one of your sisters. In first-century Christianity, the Romans accused Christians of being involved in incest because they referred to one another as "brothers" and "sisters." The Romans didn't understand, of course, the spiritual connotation of that. These are your brothers. These are your sisters. This is family. How are you treating one another?

Do you want to know whom you should take on as a life's mate? Your best friend. "Well, they're just my best friend. We have grown up together. We have known each other forever. There is no chemistry." Well, that's an immature statement! Give immature people a chemistry set, and they're going to blow something up. Let me see. Do you mean, "We know everything there is to know about each other; we still like each other; we have the same vision"? "My sister, my spouse." Jeff talked about friendship, community, and the body of Christ. It's interesting. We all know the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt." It doesn't necessarily have to come to the place of contempt, but I think many of us have a tendency to take one another for granted. Tragically, it can happen in marriages. It happens in families when children, through different stages of their adolescence, start taking their parents for granted.

We were in the deacon's meeting the other day, and I was talking to one of our deacons. He has a son and a daughter. We were talking about kids wanting to fellowship and being out. His kids are now teenagers, and it's a whole different ball game. "They always want to run around. They want to hang out with their friends. We want to spend more time with them." I kind of laughed. I looked at him and said, "You are getting old. You forgot what it is like to be 18." How many of you remember when you were 18? Was that the thing you wanted to do most, hang out with your parents? I'm talking about Christian parents, good parents, godly parents. I'm talking about parents that are fun. I'm talking about me! My kids like their parents. We were kind of cool parents. Kids could come over and hang out at our place. We let our kids go, and do you know what? I would have been concerned if they didn't want to run and hang out with their friends-"I just want to stay home." I would start getting worried that they might want to stay. Did you forget what it was like? Did you forget what we are doing? We are raising them to go away. Do you know what I found? They go away, and they get somebody and bring them back! Then they bring little creatures with them. That is one of the greatest things you will ever experience. I love those grandbabies.

Yesterday, the doorbell rang-bing! I opened the door. At my door was a lemonade stand. Hailey and Hope had a sleepover, so there were Hailey and Hope with their lemonade stand. I said, "How much is it?" They said, "A nickel." I said, "Okay." I was going to try to work them down to four cents, but I said, "Okay, a nickel." We got our lemonade, drank it, and gave them each a dollar. We tipped them. How cool is that? A little while later, Elyssa and Star come over. Star was out in his birthday suit jumping in the pool. (I put a lot of chlorine in.) That next generation, we train them. They go out, and they come back. The fact is they are out building relationships. They have already built one with you! Let's say they are 18, 19, or 20 years old. They have already taken you for granted. "Well, I don't want to be taken for granted." Well, get over it. You will always be there. Nothing they do will ever turn your love away from them. They know that. You're already a cinched deal. Let them grow. You guide them, and you give them counsel. That's who we are. You teach your children and your children's children as Abraham did.

"In this whole process (‘my sister, my spouse'), how do I find out which one of these lucky ones gets to be my life's mate? We all know that whoever gets me is privileged!" Can I share something with you? I was meditating this morning. I had the greatest teaching this morning before I woke up. All my best teachings are before I wake up. You know that place where you are just waking up? If somehow I could get conscious to write some of these things down.... What usually happens is during the teaching it comes back out. From the time I wake up until I get in the pulpit, I can't ever remember it. I try to remember what it was, but it never comes back. It usually comes back when I'm up here. The Lord was sharing some stuff with me this morning. I'm not always as conscious of it as I was this morning. This stuff was going through my spirit. I'm thinking, "That is true. That is good. I can't wait to share that." Then I forgot what it was. Hopefully, it will come out here in a minute, but it had to do with love. The basic thought is this: What is love, really? How do we know who truly becomes the object of our love?

We talked about giving our hearts away too early in life. To give your heart away before covenant is not scriptural. It's the wrong timeframe. How do you know if you have given your heart away? You know that you have given your heart away when your affections or commitment, the enticement of that person, the desire to be with them, the emotional ties (and it may be all one-sided), make it difficult or you are unable at all to say, "Not my will; Thy will be done." The moment you are no longer amendable to the will of God, to counsel, to alternatives, you have given your heart away. When you are distracted from the rest of the body of Christ, and you are no longer sowing into the community (as we talked about in Ephesians), but instead, all of your mental energy is taken up with this individual you don't have covenant with, then you have illicitly given your heart away.

We saw that Paul said it is good for a man not to touch a woman. We saw that that word "touch" meant "to light a fire, to create passion." If there is a passion, a burning within you for an individual that is not in covenant, you have given your heart away illicitly, and Paul said it's not good. You need to get yourself back to the spiritual place that you can pray, "Father, if it be Your will, I like this individual. Nevertheless, [what?] not my will; Thy will be done." Are you in that place today? Are you seeking the glory of God? Are you seeking the good of the community? Are you seeking spiritual character and not being driven by physical attraction and selfish appetites? "This makes me happy. I like the way she looks. I like the way she cooks. I like the way she laughs. I like the things that she likes." I...I...I...I...I..... That is not love. Love asks how it can empty self and provide everything that would be beneficial to the object of love.

As I was meditating this morning, I thought, "I don't think most of us realize what a precious gift and what a rare, rare occurrence it is to be loved-I mean, truly loved, unconditionally loved." So many of us are never able to experience that because we want to dictate how we are loved-"If you love me, you will treat me this way." Most of us don't allow ourselves to be loved, because we want to dictate what love is. We think we are worthy to be loved. The one thing I want you to understand this morning is this. You are not worthy to be loved. You need to understand that in your depravity, you are not worthy to be loved. As Christians, the only thing that makes us lovely is the Jesus in us. Therefore, the only thing that should attract anybody is the Jesus in me. Don't think of yourself so highly, and don't think that you ought to be loved. Don't think that you deserve to be loved, because the Bible says, "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he [first] loved us."

I want you to see the sequence. Beloved, hear me. It is not chemistry. I'm telling you, it is such a rare commodity. I'm telling you this. Not for carnal people, but for two people who love God, Christians that are Spirit-filled, who are seeking the best of God in their lives, I want to tell you something. When somebody truly loves you, you cannot help but love them back-unless you are selfish, unless you think of yourself more highly. "That person loves me, but everybody loves me because I'm great. What's so rare about that?" I want to tell you something. Not all that many people on this planet are going to truly love you. Don't just blow it off. It is a rare thing for you to become the delight of someone's heart. You don't deserve it. You're not "all that." While we were yet sinners, He loved us.

It has nothing to do with worth, with natural value. This person doesn't love me because I'm beautiful, because I'm rich. This person loves me because 1 John says "God is love." Because I have been loved of God, freely I have received, and I can freely give. We love as we have been loved. When I see Christlikeness in this person, and I want to sow back to the Jesus that loved me, this is the visible representation. God loved me while I was a sinner. How can I love Jesus back? Through this person. I see Christ in them. I'm loving them; I'm loving Jesus. I'm not lusting. I'm not looking to get something out of this. I'm freely giving what I've received of the Lord. The law of reciprocity says you reap what you sow. When you sow love, genuine love, into the heart of a Christian, when you put good seed into good ground, what are you going to get? If you sow love into good ground, what are you going to get? Love. It is the law of Genesis: all seed produces after its own kind. If this person is good, and I'm loving them, and I'm sowing love, I will reap love. If I don't, then the ground is questionable.

This is part of what Paul is addressing here in these passages in Ephesians when he talks about the aspect of loving one another; being renewed in the spirit of our minds; not grieving the Holy Spirit; and allowing gentleness, kindness, and all of these things to manifest in our brother and sisterhood. In the midst of all of this, whom should I be attracted to? How do I know who? You don't. It will become apparent. Out of the community, someone will become special to you. The thing that you have to guard yourself against is that giving your heart away. You can't become possessive. That person is not yours; they are Christ's. They are bought by the blood of Jesus. They are not even yours when you marry them, because you are not your own; you are bought with a price. When the two of you become one, you are still not your own, and that person still doesn't belong to you. As a unit, you now belong to Jesus.

I want to see if I can, in the next couple of minutes, practically share how we can respond to that attraction. Then I want to carry this over into the next step. Once we see someone that we would like as a life's mate, and we present the covenant to them, then what are the responsibilities we have to one another as husband and wife? Once you learn your roles and what the responsibilities are, it will let you know whether you are ready to make this kind of a contract. It is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly. One of the things that we understand about love is that love lays down its life for its object, for its friends. We are to love our wives as our own bodies, the Scripture says, and as Christ loved the church. Husbands, we are taken up with trying to care for our wives. I really have respect for Proverbs 31 women, truly good wives. "Whoso findeth a wife [a good wife] findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). What a great role. What an unselfish role a good wife plays, delighting in her husband, being the helpmeet, pouring out her life for her husband. That Proverbs 31 woman is working. She is supporting him; she is encouraging him. He is the big shot sitting down at the gate getting all of the glory. That's my kind of a guy. Behind every successful man you find [what?] a nagging woman. No, a good wife. We have heard that, but there is a lot of truth to it. What is tragic is when a good wife helps that man become successful, and then he runs off with the secretary. That's the evil where men's hearts are.

The Scripture says to give honor to the wife as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7), and we have talked about that quite a bit. That weakness doesn't refer to the physical stature. "Weaker vessel" doesn't mean that women are less capable than men. The weaker vessel is the role of willful subordination. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands in [say it] everything (Ephesians 5:24). Ladies, those of you that are getting prepared for that decision and that life's mate, you will be under in everything. Are you ready for that? "Well, no, bless God. Nobody is going to tell me what to do!" You mean you are not going to do what Jesus says? "Well, yes, I will do what Jesus says." He said, "As unto the Lord." That takes care of your problem. You submit to your husband as you would to the Lord. You submit to your husband knowing that Jesus put him there. You submit to your husband realizing that he is under Jesus, that he is not the final authority, but Jesus is. He cannot require of you anything that Jesus would not require. That's where our rest is.

You choose to come into that role of subordination. That's a willful decision to come under. You put yourself in a vulnerable position. Husbands, you are to realize this. They have submitted themselves willfully, so you are to give them honor for that. I respect that. I admire that. I admire a godly woman fulfilling her role. I am not talking about a mousy woman. I'm talking about a godly woman, a woman who is doing her job, a woman who is putting in her perspective. Ladies, you are not to keep your mouths shut. You are to tell your husbands what your perspective is-once. And all the men said [amen]. We don't need dripping. You are not heard for your much speaking, ladies. And all the ladies said [amen]. It's who you are. It's your natural tendency. Your mother was Eve, so you have the natural propensity to manipulate. Understand what your natural tendencies are. Understand who women are.

Over the years, I have talked to a lot of women. I like what Janet used to tell me. She said, "You have to watch out for the women. They are the most dangerous creatures." She said, "I don't like women." She wasn't talking about individuals; she was talking about what woman is-"I don't like that tendency to manipulate, to usurp, to be deceptive, the conniving, womanly wiles." As a mature Christian that comes to walk in the light, none of that is acceptable behavior. We cannot try to change things just by innuendo statements. Just speak the truth.

I have shared with you in the past. For instance, one time years ago, I wanted to leave. I was upset, and I said, "I am just sick and tired of all this stuff and all these people. I am tired of all this nonsense and people accusing us. We are going to sell everything and head West." She said, "I will go anywhere you want to go, but I thought you said God called you here." That's all she said. "It doesn't hurt here, and it doesn't hurt here"-you remember that line from the great movie, Dumb and Dumber? The guy got hit in the face with a two by four just to get his attention, and then he tries to figure out what happened. He said, "I don't hurt here [Pastor indicates his forehead], and I don't hurt here [Pastor indicates his chin]." Well, Janet just hit me dead in the face with my own words. Ladies, let me give you some advice. Do you want to know the best thing you can do for your husband? Just remind him of his own words and then leave it there. "Okay, whatever you want. But this is what you said." Kids do that, right? When we say those words, we really mean it. It's profound; it's the wisdom of God. Later, we are in the flesh. Your role is to help, but we don't need you trying to make the final determination. That is the man's determination. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. "She turns the head whichever way she wants [line from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding]." Some of us are married to giraffes-a lot of neck in this thing.

Let me remind you, men. You are the head. The final determination for the course of your family is yours. Men, are you willing to take that role? Ladies, are you willing to subordinate yourselves to that? If you are, then you are ready to take a life's mate. Men, are you ready to stop running and playing and prefer somebody over yourself? Are you willing to take on the role of becoming more Christlike so you can wash this young lady with the water of the Word, so that she could be presented unto Jesus a chaste virgin without spot or wrinkle? These are the things that become the criteria, not "My friends are getting married" or "I am getting old." "I want to have somebody ready to meet Jesus, and it's that person because they are the object of my affection. I have a special attraction to that individual. I want to dedicate my life to making them a better Christian." That's the right one. That's the one that you ought to begin to sow into.

What if they don't respond? What if they aren't interested? Good question. Why wouldn't they be? What a rare thing, for somebody to be willing to empty his life out for you. That's attractive to me. Do you want to lay your life down? Do you want to dedicate your life to making my life better? You know, that attracts me. We call it "friends." Do we have a personal agenda that would blow off that kind of a rare thing off because they have a little bit of an overbite, not enough hair, or a slight paunch? Would that person please stand up? No, I'm trying to promote you this morning. Do you see what rejecting something like that is? Do you see what kind of a value we are putting on our own pride, our own lust, and our own selfishness, to reject a gift?

How do I know if it is a genuine gift being presented to me? By doing this thing properly, watching these people (as we have shared for years) in the community. You know what? If it is only directed to you, it could be manipulation. If it is character, and they are caring for everybody and especially you, then it could be a great gift. If it is character, if it is who they are, and I am going to become the focal point of it, then I am benefiting. If it is who they are, then everybody is getting a part of it as they serve the whole community, love the body of Christ. It is directed toward Jesus. I don't want somebody that loves me more than they love Jesus. I don't want somebody to love me more than they love Jesus. I want somebody to love me because they love Jesus. I want somebody to love me because of my love for Jesus. Two people that make covenant in that will be successful in this life.

Father, we thank You for Your Word this morning. We ask that You would order our steps. Cause us to understand the work that is occurring in Your body. You have said it is not good for a man to be alone. We have need of one another. Women are so needful of that covering, Paul said, because of the angels. Because of that propensity of the kingdom of darkness to manipulate the woman, to make her a manipulator, they need a covering. Man needs the feminine perspective, the tenderness, the full range of emotional perception and adaptation of the practical and the logical. We need one another, but they must be godly. They must be virtuous women. They need to be men full of the Holy Ghost, sober, discreet, not strikers, but kind and gentle. Guys, women aren't looking for macho men. They are looking for someone who is kind, gentle, caring, and affectionate. Be aware of those things that communicate that to your wife. "Oh, they know I love them." Yes, they do, but they need you to tell them. They need you to show them by your gentleness, by your kindness, by your awareness of them, by recognizing, "Oh, that's a pretty outfit that you have on." Don't forget your anniversaries. Don't forget their birthdays. Take the time to show gentleness. Hold their hand. Take them and hold them for a moment, embrace them, tell them you love them, and give them a hug. Right in the middle of Home Fellowship Group meeting while the discussion is going on, catch their eye and flirt with them a little bit. About that time, you will get called on. Then you'll be confused and make a fool of yourself-and they'll love it! Marriage is becoming one. Marriage is living for the other person. Marriage is being unified, two being better than one for the glory of God. Are you doing all you can do for His kingdom? Are you ready for Him to finish His work in you?

Let's stand before the Lord this morning. As Gary plays for us, we'll take just a moment. What a great thing you have in that person that loves you. Don't take it for granted! Don't take it for granted! It is a gift from God. You don't deserve it. God has given you a gift. He initiated that love in that person. What a special thing to be loved, to be needed. That's why so many people battle this empty nest thing, because you are getting it from the wrong place. You have gotten it from your children for years, and you need to have it every day for your husband. The empty nest syndrome shouldn't be a problem if you have the right relationship with your husband. Oh, both of you together will be missing the kids. It's a natural tendency, but your delight is in your husband. Your covering is your husband. He is touched with your feelings. The Scripture says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). There is no stronger bond than marriage in Jesus Christ. A child leaves his parent. A parent sends his child out, and the two cleave as one. Our children do not fulfill our lives. Our children are not the object of our greatest affection. Our spouse is, and we two love our children. We two, as one, raise a godly seed. They go and multiply, and we two, as one, train our children's children. Is that person next to you (your spouse) your best friend, your heart's love, your reason for being? See, when Jesus puts us together, our reason for being is to make this body of Christ stronger, purer. That's why we are here, to love God and keep His commandments, the whole duty of man. Don't devalue that great gift. Stir it up in you again even this morning and thank God that somebody loves you.

Let's sing it together and honor Him this morning. Father, be glorified in our midst, we ask in Jesus' name. Turn to somebody next to you and say, "It's good to be loved." Go in peace. God's love go with you.

Back to Top | Audio   |   Purchase Audio   |   Bible Teachings   |   Print